im not answering anymore and im not abt to let them make me again im not doing this shit w/ them id rather do projects by myself then do this, i hate this feeling gah

i actually wanna kill myself genuinely i have never felt this sucky in my life, i wanna shrink into the floor adn impfe been thinking about gutting myself or just stabbing and mom called me insane, and i yesterday i said i needed a therapist and i cant just say “i cant talk to you” because she’ll just go on a spiel, or i will and im so tired of going on this loop of discourse just say you dont want me so i can kill myself

why cant i just did, please? all thr time i try my damnest and i literally dont know whats been happening with my life recently but i want it to end, i want to die so bad, but i dont because im scared to, because id probably be judged for dying too, i just want to disappear

and no one looks out for me most of the time but i should go out with friends and go and explore and have fun but im contained to my messy room and my grades and you say it in such a way that makes me not want rpto go and you call it emo im not emo i GENUINELY WANT TO DIE

im only here bc of my friend and my partner other than that i think id die

im gonna throw up