It looks like I'm guzzling congealed piss but I swear that's cornflakes

Ew Nathan

Just for you bestie

Comes back Honey I'm home 🥳🥳🥳🥳

Great I slept w my boss Btw we're getting a divorce

😁👍🥳

I'm taking the kids too And the house Gtfo

Spits Throws a pack of tissues at you Throws your suitcase at you

****in momas boy ☹️☹️🤬🤬🙄🙄🙄

Dies arís

Gonna haunt your ass

🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳👻👻👻

I LITERALLY CHOKED ON THE CORNFLAKES A SECOND AGO

Evil

I'm a special kind of white guy I self-reflected, and I wanna be an agent of change So I am gonna use my privilege for the good (Very cool, way to go!) American white guys We've had the floor for at least four hundred years So maybe I should just shut the **** up I'm bored I don't wanna do that There's got to be another way (Yes) For me to help out without standing on the sidelines (Never) The wait is over I'm white, and I'm here to save the day Lord, help me channel Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side (Sandra Bullock) Healing the world with comedy Making a literal difference, metaphorically And yes, most likely, they'll pay me, but I'd do it for free I am healing the world with comedy If you wake up in a house that's full of smoke Don't panic Call me, and I'll tell you a joke If you see white men dressed in white cloaks Don't panic Call me, and I'll tell you a joke Oh shit Should I be joking at a time like this? If you start to smell burning toast You're having a stroke or overcooking

No Isn't alpha Bo Burnham

So actually It's not me who's Bo Burnham It's my husband 🤯

WHERE IS THAT POST ONE SECOND

The beginning of our romance

Cornflakes

Yes.