i have to have stupid red hair harder then hell to dye couldn't even keep the fcuking colour in even after bleaching it TWICE. why couldn't it have been a pretty strawberry blond or brunette? why did it have to be straight? i would have loved to have curls. i have to have stupid blue eyes instead of beautiful green eyes that remind me of trees and grass? why did have have to be fat, all stomach no ass and B-cups mistaken as A. why did my thighs have to be so big i can't wear cute jeans or legging without struggling to get the damn things on. don't get me started on the freckles their fcuking disgusting i cant stand clusters of objects. why does my body have to fail on me, why was i given a fcuking illness thats shorten my lifespan greatly? why can't i be as pretty as my sister? perfect hourglass, her top and bottom is huge. why can't i be as pretty as a model or look as androgynous as i want. why can't i pass as a boy or a girl? why are my finger disgusting sausages? why can't i be dainty?

why am i so fcuking ugly?

i hate my scars, they're ugly and make me mad. i hate my finger nails, i can't keep them long i just bite them back off i hate my feet, they're huge i have to wear mens. i hate my nose its huge. i hate my face, its so round, i look like a circle. i hate my ears they're so small and stick out. i hate my lips the're to fat. i hate my eyes, they're disgusting blue and small. i hate myself, i hate every part of me, i want to cut all the fat off i want to replace everything on me i hate it all.