When i was 5 a baby was crying in mc donalds so i stole its food.

UONU(E@HJNEW

When i was 10 this girl jumped on me in the pool so i acted dead and floated to the top but i ended up enhaling the water and actually drowned and came back to life

IDK LIKE I REMEBER INHALING THE WATER AND STOPPED MOVING BUT THEN I WOKE UP AGAIN AND WAS STRUGGLING AND GOT SAVED?

LMAO

last year a girl tazed me in the school bathroom for 3 minuites so my revenge was telling all her crushes she liked them and i cut her pony tail off