So, I did a lot of messed up things in 2019, and I'm not proud of it. I never saw my faults then, never apologised correctly, and I did nothing to change. I'm sorry for everything I've done, I always played victim, and I always guilt-tripped. And I regret doing that, especially to those I called friends. They did not deserve my bullshit, they did not have to worry about me, and my happiness/wellbeing wasn't theirs. I'm really sorry to those I lied to. And I was never in the right. People had the right to call me out, and yet I ignored that and played victim. I was never the victim, and I am not a victim now. I should have known better, I should have realised things. I don't remember most of the things I did, but I do know that memory is no excuse for the things I did. There is one thing I did I remember clearly to this day because I was definitely not in the right in any shape or form then. Word count is low, so more in another comment, I'm not done apologising and explaining.

The things I did during that time were horrible, inexcusable, and I will not accept any justification to it. I will not think of it in any good way. I used family members deaths as a way to excuse myself from criticism because I did not like it, I lied to my friends as a way of empathy, I harassed people, and I played victim. And the apology for that? Really terrible, I literally added guilt-tripping in there for empathy or at least some sympathy. And those friends? Some of them are still friends with me, and I don't deserve them because I know I hurt them in some way. I shouldn't have done any of those things. But I've grown up to realise my faults, my errors, and my bad traits. I will try to be a better person, but I have to learn that everyone, even myself, make mistakes sometimes. And these mistakes, could affect people around, and I should fix it instead of acting the way I did in the past. You don't have to forgive, I know that not everyone will. And I don't mind. I'm sorry.

Thank you, but, who were you when you met my account inksaforever?

yeah, i rather not be seen as a shitty person anymore.

oh okay!

thankies <33