my buddy kinda left me alone but I'd rather fake pee than stand awkwardly and pretend to check a text on my phone Everything felt fine when I was half of a pair and through no fault of mine

there's no other half there Now I'm just Michael in the bathroom Michael in the bathroom at a party

Forget how long its been I'm just Michael in the bathroom Michael in the bathroom at a party No, you can't come in I'm waiting it out 'til it's time to leave and picking at grout as I softly grieve I'm just Michael who you don't know Michael flying solo Michael in the bathroom by himself All by himself

I am hiding, but he's out there Just ignoring all our history Memories get erased And I'll get replaced with a newer cooler version of me

And I hear a drunk girl Singing along to Whitney through the door "I wanna dance with somebody!" And my feelings sink Cause it makes me think Now there's no one to make fun of drunk girls with anymore

now it's just Michael in the bathroom Michael in the bathroom at a party I half regret the beers Michael in the bathroom Michael in the bathroom at a party

As I choke back the tears I'll wait as long as I need 'Til my face is dry Or I'll just blame it on weed Or something in my eye I'm just Michael

Who you don't know Michael flyin' solo Michael in the bathroom by himself

Knock, knock, knock, knock They're gonna start to shout soon Knock, knock, knock, knock Ah hell yeah I'll be out soon Knock, knock, knock, knock It sucks he left me here alone Knock, knock, knock, knock Here in this teenage battlezone Clang, clang, clang, clang I feel the pressure blowing up Bang, bang, bang, bang My big mistake was showing up Splash, splash, splash, splash I throw some water in my face And I am in a better place

I go to open up the door But I can't hear knocking Anymore

And I can't help but yearn For a different time And then I look in the mirror And the present is clear And there's no denying I'm just

at a party Is there a sadder sight Mmmmmmmmm Michael in the bathroom at a party This is a heinous night I wish I stayed at home instead Watching cable porn Or wish I offed myself instead Wish I was never born

I'm just Michael Who's a loner So he must be a stoner Rides a PT Cruiser God, he's such a loser Michael flying solo Who you think that you know Michael in the bathroom by himself

All by himself All by himself When all you know about me is my name Awesome party I'm so glad I came

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