I'm not gonna talk about how much I get ****ed up from getting left behind.

Bleh, might as well talk a little about why I mentioned this. Sometimes it feels better to stay in an abusive place, no matter the damage it causes to stay, the feeling of being abandoned is one of my deepest fears, to the point that if I'm scared someone will leave my life it makes me start shaking and have a panic attack. It doesn't matter if the person is extremely unhealthy for me. It's bad enough that being alone home makes me anxious.