shes dead, and ive accepted that but there is some part of me hoping, praying to satan that she just maybe ran far away and is about to come home soon, that maybe shes going to come back and ill be able to hug her again

i know that isnt true, and id want to say that the thoguht of her coming back soothes me but it rly doesnt omfg

its so funny because i got most of her problems and disorders so i have to deal with that too im not mad at her for it, its not her fault. im not even mad about her dying because i know that that's just gonnahappen and i have to get over it, but ehgh

i want to cry so hard right now but i cant

i feel so edgy right now

i find it so fckucking funny that im typing this with a straigth face even though i want to cry. if i cry that apparently im weak and im not ready to go thru the "real world" according to my caretaker

then they quenstion why i dont fcking speak or talk about my emotions im going nonverbal i swear

god i feel so stupid haha

its fine, its not ur fault haha also i thought u were sleeping,,