So.. I just started dating someone recently, and I really do love them, but as usual once I start actually dating them, I get much more anxious and self conscious with them, and when I remember that I'm dating them, it just makes hanging out with them so much more tiring... And I normally have thoughts randomly come to me that ask questions like "Do they really care about me?" and other thoughts, and I don't understand why anyone would date me, I'm not good at paying attention, I'm always awkward and always nervous/anxious, I have terrible anxiety, I'm ugly, have terrible self esteem,I'm not good at communicating in general, I have no control of my emotions, my mood can go from on top of the world to feeling like nothing quickly, I can go from not wanting/feeling like I can talk to anyone and ignore them for a while then later become all clingy and freak out when they don't reply immediately and get terrible thoughts when they don't reply immediately like that they hate me and stuff

Just wanna say hi incase anyone sees this, sorry this my posts are so cringy. I'm leaving them because well, my memories not the best and while none of them are about persay good things, I don't want to forget about all of this.