look im so sorry what the heck im so weird help

Me and my sister like to chase squirrels right? So when we are on our way to go to the park. we was talking about how cute they are and wanting to sqush them soo badly

Then I started to feel very violent and said "I wish I could sqush one soooo badly they might die." I am so weird bruh like I really want to CATCH THOSE SQUIRLLS AND ****ING SQUUUZZZEE THE HELL OUT OF THIEM wait what- OK

MY SISTER IS KINDA LUCKY IN A BAD WAY. she hurt a squirrels leg with A STICK and it couldnt climb. I was sad because it got hurt oh no.. BUT I STILL WILL CHASE SQUIRLLS.. I dont know how i should feel about this.. like augh i wish i will catch one and it will end up dying probably which is not good to me. lol