chapter 1 page 2
5 comments
SmilingNyan
13.10.2017 00:13
LinkI have no idea how this plot is going and why. Theres no setup, the characters look generic, why would a teacher tell a student who the "mean girl" is, and why would she tell a new girl that she was going to kill someone, that's just crazy. The art doesn't help me not understanding what the heck is going on, though the animation is pretty smooth.
Seriously though what the frick is going on who are these people
PrincessRockStar[OP]
13.10.2017 00:29
LinkI AM NEW TO MAKING A SERIES DON'T JUDGE ME I AM TRYING DRAMAM FOR THE FIRST TIME
SmilingNyan
13.10.2017 00:54
LinkCheese and crackers I just said something will you chill. This site is notorious with me for bad writing so I just wanted to do my part to help someone improve. It still stands though that more setup should be given to a story and characters should be explained. They should all act in believable ways, too.
PrincessRockStar[OP]
13.10.2017 01:45
Linkhow? i am on computer usally im on a ps
SmilingNyan
13.10.2017 01:48
LinkUhh how does you being on a computer affect this
Also, you can set it up by saying the names of the characters at least, and explaining why this kid is new, and possibly give some precendent for why the other character would say this to her. No one is going to tell sensitive info to someone they just met.