Alright so be ready for some long shit lmao

So basically I started middle school today and I feel like shit not only because of the feelings I'm starting to get towards zack, but I made alot of friends today,, though I know none of them likely even ****ing care for me. I just feel so ****ing dumb and behind everyone else,, like everyone I know from 6th grade and even fith have changed,, but I ****ing haven't. I'll always be the annoying basic little whore that only does shit for attention, and I feel so ****ing awful about it. I dont know how to open my ****ing locker after hundreds of tries just today,, I dont even know how to tie my shoes,, I missed 3 classes put of 7 because of my stupid ass getting lost within the maze of which I call middle school. I just feel so ****ing lost and awful and I cant do this,, my own best friend of 4 years ignored me,, and I just cant handle this anymore. I'm just stressed.

And I've been feeling too guilty to even eat properly

Yeah,, I just dont want to feel this anymore and it really ****ing sucks. I want to get by one damn day without feeling worthless at a point.

Everything ****ing sucks and I cant do shit about it or I'll be hated. That's genuinely just how middle school works.

It's gotten so bad that I'm not happy, exicted,, infact I'm rather scared for my birthday this month. I know itll be shit, literal fvcking shit.

I know I can't though. Nothing good ever ****ing lasts for me.

It's all my damn fault, why cant I just be a good and normal person?!? I dont want to be a social reject anymore and my ****ing stupidity is going to make me go insane.

Like three people insulted me in one ****ing day.