i say this and then im not gonna tllthem anythin because im scared to be a bad perosn

like i dotn want anyone thats an adult tofigure out im not a reserved normal girl thats really happy and wants to help and is polite all the time i want them to be proud of me you know but like i cant be that person

idk if im just delusional but i would stay by someones side even if they hurt me because i think that things will change for the better why am i so hopeful sometimes it gets in the way? i dont know if i give people too many chances because i try to blame a lot of it on myself. i did a lot of stuff i shouldnt of and if things were just different none of hthis woulve happened

i want another chance but im too scared and if i mess up again ill never forgive myself for that im just too scared to mess up and it ruins my life