and ob im not sadboy posting just thinking abt shit out loud bc flipanim comments are an excellent medium for chatting shit

nothinggggg illustrates this more than the fact that i cant even major in botany. the herbarium is nested in the biology department with seems more concerned with the bacterial, genetic, and animal and unworried about anything that isnt directly applicable to industrial bullshit. is it scalable? is it practical? does it solve a problem we have right now? how do we make this more climate friendly? new sustainable plastics! bacteria that decompose plastic! whatever unrelated but like. plant science? its over with agriculture. it isnt biology, it isnt Science, thats just some silly thing that women like to distract themselves with. what in the fsck is plant science if not science or biology. im not even IN plant science and plant science majors are being set up for a career of... you guessed it, more genetics and microbes and industrial applications. if botany existed as a major youd probably have like two people that were in it for Botany lets be real

like when jordan asked me today what i wanted to do with a project and if i just wanted to do a literature review and write a simple key for credit and i said "no i want to advance understanding of this genus, even if it doesnt result in a poster and an abstract i want to try" and i meant that genuinely bc <3hexastylis<3 but also bc i feel like that would be a total waste. im not just here for credit thats just a nice bonus.

one sec i gotta do a picrew this is important

ok anyways what was i saying

its just like. id feel like i was wasting my effort spending time on a lit review and key for normies. i feel like in order to do that you just need to have a normie understanding of the genus and i already have an above normie understanding of it and i know jordan is just trying to make shit easier for me lol but its like. wow. man ur standards are in the floor huh. i think hes just encountered so many women that just want to collect inat data of dubious quality and do some maps and thats a project yay its resume material its credit its a letter of recommendation but its not real because theyre not botanists and will never be because they have no interest in real botany they Like Plants in the silliest surface level way WHICH IS FINE i dont give a shit what anyone else wants to do but. i cant keep saying its fine i dont give a shit bc i do. it gets frustrating. i want to meet people that know things about plants. why am i most connecting with men with doctorates in shit like ferns and... carex probably

like idk. i fully recognize i am the fscked up weird one here. i guess. but thats gay and im allowed to say thats gay and i wish i wasnt literally the only guy without a phd that is interested in hexastylis bt sinn doesnt count cause he thinks that shit is asarum which is just a bad opinion im sorry. its bad

listening to my nlog playlist and wowwwwwww young girls were listening to this song?? this is the worst possible shit. oh my god. is there a more misogynistic song in the universe than "hey girl youre hot take all your clothes off" bro. i hope you die. killing you with a gun

idk i was just thinking about it on saturday bc i had a lot of car time and crystal sent me that retarded tumblr post about the woman that thinks her coworker is a deer therian and now having met tom its like wow......... if that woman met tom weeble she would think he was secretly a deer inside. do you know what i mean

and i like to think i am not that different from that sort of person, im not Quiet or Subdued but i am singly focused on some autistic bullshit and often feel like i dont line up with the average person and if thats enough to be secretly a deer inside then like. damn. i would make a deer noises joke but idk what noises deer make. its just the constant pathologizing of it thats crazy. sorry for having interests i guess? u cant comprehend having interests? and i can act snarky about it but i cant lie and say that its NOT isolating as fsck. like wow i am such an abnormal person in Current Year that people think i am like Broken or Wrong somehow and dont act like ~le neurodivergent~ isnt a tacit admission of Not Right. you have to be Not Right you have to be divergent in the first place to be given the silly quirky tumblr label. divergent is in the name