Vent
11 comments
WarriorCatsClans[OP]
26.11.2022 12:03
LinkI feel numb but I feel pain at the same time. I overthink everything. I worry about everything and everybody. My 'friends' always vent to me about their nothing problems, but they dont ever ask me how I am. They dont realise how good they have it compared to me. I am Non-binary, and Pansexual, and only a couple people in my life know, my friends. My parents are catholic and homophobic and curse pride right infront of my face, and I cant do anything so I am forced to agree. My dad is racist and sexist, my mother is racist, and I worry for my dog. My father has a really bad temper, he is a really big, fat man. He abuses my dog (emotionally and physically), and me (Mostly emotional abuse, rarely physical). I have to be a perfect pretty girl when im around my family. Im sick of it, and I want to just get away from all of it asap. Im not allowed to be friends with my friends, because of one stupid mistake. I am also non-religous, I believe in mostly reincarnation and I study witchcraft.
WarriorCatsClans[OP]
26.11.2022 12:06
LinkPart 2- I dont care if someone has a religion, you do you boo. I had an anxiety attack in the middle of the night, I woke up in a cold sweat, becuase I dreamed of the one time me and my best friend at the time were on the phone with eachother and we were talking if anything was real. I stared having an axiety attack and a meltdown because I was thinking what if life is an illusion, what if this is just a big dream, what if im in a coma and im watching my life again, what if im secretly dead, what is the meaning of life, why do i exist, I hate myself, and I hate that I hate myself. I started having a meltdown and I got a bloody nose. This lasted for ****ing 20 minutes.
WarriorCatsClans[OP]
26.11.2022 12:14
LinkPart 3- Yes I know this turned into a rant, if you dont want to read it just leave and dont read it. Simple. Anyways, I dated my old best freind (Lets call her flower) 11 times. 11 TIMES. Me and flower had a really toxic relationship, she s*xualy abused me, gr00med me, and she was a p3dophile. She thought being z00, a p3do, a gr00mer, was funny. She comes back to me everytime, and says 'sorry' a bunch of times and pleads for me to give her another chance. I am sick of it, and a week ago, I said no. I am tired of her constant begging, and pleading. "Sorry" cant fix everything. Then she said "Guess I really ****ed up this time" like she didnt give a crap that she tore me apart. Being 13, this is all too early. This should be a 16 problem, but no, it all started at the age of 11. I have had s@icidal thoughts, but you dont have to worry, I hate feeling pain so I would never try anything.
WarriorCatsClans[OP]
26.11.2022 12:15
LinkIm all burnt out now, so im just going to leave it at this for now.
Im sorry, youre in a tough situation, and i wish i could help, but i cant do much but listen. Im happy to talk and listen when you need it. My father and i are in a similar condemnant, but i cannot pretend i know what youre going through. I wish you all the best luck, from one pagan fellow to another.