I noticed that I well- irl me is awkward,,I suck at conversation and if I’m caught staring 7/10 times it’s because I’m noticing a pattern in your behavior,, But this persona of me is still me But it’s Never going to be what I really am I’ve always been more concerned about what I can do to better my own guards than letting others in Someone like this I’ll simply never be I like books Bugs Nature and girls I hate big dogs Thunderstorms and men who think they have the right I like side hugs but not big ones I don’t like holding your hand I’d much rather hold the end of your shirt I like rain and wet socks and hate warm weather I’m paranoid and chew on my nails and the way I sit makes a car seat of my legs If I’m scared I pull out my hair Sexual jokes are just a way of coping with my trauma despite the fact I hate them I’m constantly told my fingers are cold and if I get excited about something I’ll rant on and on until someone says I’m annoying them I have a blank stare I rarely smile

That’s me

But here I try my best to be optimistic, when I get a compliment most of the time I’ll give one back I noticed I’m more like a puppy than anything because of how much attention I need just from people here When I get angry or sad I look for someone to cheer me up, something I could never possibly do in real life When I have a bad day I make up happy things so that my friends won’t worry about having to apologize constantly for something that’s not my fault Here I live in my head as someone I wish to be but never willl Here I express my only passion through art I talk without a stutter here There’s no eye contact so no one can say anything about me trying to get a better understanding of something I’m allowed to share what I like here because there are people who are like the persona I put on here It’s like putting on a costume that sticks to your skin but doesn’t quite fit right

What I’m saying is Would you really like to be friends with the real me Or are you just lying out of pity

For two years I’ve lied to you bro 😶‍🌫️

HEY I DONT SWING THAT WAYYY

👉👈 I was in the closet for 191828726271819 years

You’re sweet but I come off as creepy to most ppl /srs