I hate the fact that I’m so desperate for attention and validation that I go on and get a “crush” on almost everyone I meet- I force myself to..because I’d hate to be alone I’m so selfish..And of course they ask me out- WHAT THE **** DO THEY EVEN SEE IN ME!? I’m nothing special I’m awkward and annoying I wouldn’t say I’m ugly but I’m not very attractive either.. I’m such a problem I’m surprised she hasn’t given up on me yet... He made me happy..why did I give that up? Because FRIENDSHIPS ARE BETTER!? I I actually felt it.. I actually felt love I don’t feel that often in relationships I don’t feel comfortable just spilling out everything to any of my lovers.. I don’t want them to feel like it’s their fault But when it comes to him...I’m so so happy.. Why did I give that up..?

I want to be completely honest... I don’t love Arc. I’m sorry. I don’t. Not anymore... I mean- yeah she’s really nice and a big goofball- extremely pretty and mature- But I feel attracted to her in the way you’d feel with a friend now,,, I hate that.. I’m so selfish So ****ing Selfish

I was just so happy to wake up every morning...my body wasn’t as heavy I felt light and exited for the day.. But now I’ve gone back to hiding in my room and when I wake up..I don’t want to get up at all...

I just.. I want to go back..I want to be with him.. It was a mistake...please..

Three weeks without you and I’m already cracking..