You're not weird or inhumane or different for any of the things that you feel, your mindset is yours to shape and whatever emotions come with it aren't for other people to take advantage of. You're an amazing person who deserves so much better on your life and to meet great people who will help you with anything that changes things for the better for you. No matter how minor or major the issue , you deserve to have friends who will listen to you. If people try to push you away you for you and how you feel , they just can't understand, but despite that you're still you. You've kept yourself strong for yourself, you're not weak for feeling or thinking any sort of negative way.