Grr i need help.
by:
RueTheTrans 
452
452
17.08.2020
37 comments
RueTheTrans[OP]
17.08.2020 08:05
LinkYesterday i started to burn myself (self-harm)with a fake nail (hahahah yeah i know.) In anger.
I now have burns on my collar bone,my chest,my stomach,and my arm.
RueTheTrans[OP]
17.08.2020 08:06
LinkIt doesn't hurt when i move so i was like ok,i'll be fine.
My ass.
When i lay down on my stomach i had a burning pain sensation.
RueTheTrans[OP]
17.08.2020 08:09
LinkI wanna go to therapy but my mom will ask me questions like "why" "whats the problem?" "If you dont tell me then you're not going."
And if i tell her,i still wont go.
Awww :( Ok my suggestion is you ask your mother, and when she asks why you want to go, just tell her the truth- if she says that you cant go to a therapist then tell her that you are in pain and that you want and need one. It's important to tell her the truth. I'm sorry if this isn't helpful
If that doesn't work, I'll try to think of some other ideas if you want
I do wanna tell her. I seriously do. But when i always tell her about my voices,delusions and shit.
She always says "stop making up bullshit","stop being dramatic","stop watching things you're not supposed to." And if i tell her that i get delusions,i tear up and my head pounds when something mentioning abuse,performs what its like *my school had a play about people who struggled with it,but now have a great job career and so on*then she asked me in a shocked look meaning "oh shit did he get ptsd from his father??" Yes my father hit.(not my actual biological father. He died before i was born,or thats what i was told.)
Im just too afraid of her.
She asked me,"were you abused?'. I obviously had to reply with a no. My heart was beating as **** and i began to sweat but it was instinct ok?.
She noticed one of the burns in my collar bone (since its the only one visible) and asked me how i got it.
The first stage looked like freckles but blood.
2nd stage,it looked like a rash,but it burns to put water on it.
3rd stage a severe burn.
aww I'm sorry about your dad-
ok do you have any other adult to talk to? Like your aunt, or uncle or anyone?
I lied to her about the abuse thing,i should have said yes but i thought she'd no that my "father"/brothers father" hits i mean come on.
No. They are all faraway.
Plus my bestfriend is a couple of houses down my path in my estate but he has school since hes older than me and a year higher than me and starting his GCSEs.
Listen dude Im sorry but I have to go to the Library rn, but dw Ill be thinking of something on the way. I'll be back soon so we can talk if u stiill want to
Hi dude, I'm back. SO so sorry if it took to long ✨ So I thought about it, but is not SUCH a good idea, but maybe u can ask your friends parents help. OR you keep asking your mother EVERY TIME YOU CAN. Then hopefully she will realize that you really need/want a therapist. I'm so so so so sorry it's a bad idea-
Dude I'm really sorry, its a bad idea-
I'll try to think of something else
Are you ok with online therapy? Cuz I found online therapy website. It says it's affordable, but I dont think you should be paying, because of your mom- I heard there was free online therapy tho- idk
Dhjdj i hurt myself when im angry or suicidal.
I got shouted at to go in my room, just for turning away when it was noticable??( i cant spell lol wtf) that i was mad (i was pissed off by my brother. Anger issues suck ass.) I stay mute,because if i dont, i might just snap into anger,,
I honestly relate to so much of that
But thats why we're here..
To help ya get through this
Im just afraid of whats next if i stay alive "longer"??
Mentions of abuse in horror movies and self harm trigger delusions for so i cant watch them because of it which sucks since split made me have a delusion even though i loved it.
AnyWaY
I mean,, like,, im just afraid.
I dont wanna go back to school because i was gonna attempt...death? So i didn't do any of my online work only like 2 or 3 but i"ll get shouted at so there is no use.
I get nightmares everyday and memory gaps suck ass.
Aww bro
Sorry to hear that
But please stay alive
We just met and youre like one of my favorite fa friends