damn i hav not felt this way in a long time. id be dealing with this better if it was just one at a time but things lined up perfectly to give me hopelessness that almost killed me

reading depressing shit to make myself feel worse jist like i did in school. i think the reason i did that before was because i hoped i would finally feel bad enough that id no longer be scared, jist tired. and that i could finally end it all. i wanted to feel bad enough to finally go through with it adn jist have it be over. now its just a bad habit. im glad i never did it

anyways this shit doodle took inspiration from pinky and pepper forever. i wish i was still into art like i was before. i know why im not and im thankful that i dont need it like before, but i miss creating. part of me more so misses the recognition id get, but i just also want to create again, i made so many stories and characters in my head so id have soemthing to draw for myself and now they just sit there, i miss them