sorry I was gone I was studying

but i need to kinda talk about this

I struggle with communicating my feelings and thoughts because I think I might hurt someone and they will hate me and think I'm weird so I just hold it in and it bottles up and I have a bad episode thing and I already talked about this but I really I need to speak to someone about this and other things but I'm scared they will get mad at me or be like "ew you're weird" and I don't want that but I keep thinking over andover again about the same things for months and that's why I'm always in a terrible state um I really need to talk about it with them but I feel like they don't trust me like what if I am doing everything wrong what if they think I'm weird I don't know what to do I need to talk about it what do I do

and when I try to apologize and say I'm sorry if I make you uncomfortable or something it makes me think they don't think I'm sorry I feel like a bad person I don't like asking things to people and I don't like discussing my thoughts until I explode and then I can't help it and I don't know wht tondo

I feel like nobody trusts me and I'm scared to hurt someone

im scared idont knwo what to do

if I could do it discuss it with them without all these thoughts that they hate me or don't trust me my life would be so much less stressful but I don't want to like losethem

also i don't really feel anything I don't think I can't define it I don't feel anything but I am trying not to be as rude