this isnt targetted at anyone but sometimes ppl say things that make me uncomfortable or upset but i feel overly sensitive if i express how i feel uhh ill explain i thinks yeah

stuff like abusing drugs, harming yourself, and abuse n shit is really hard for me totalk about because of things that have happened to me and i feel obligated to ehlp others when they are stressed about such things because i want them to be okay but it really messes me up in the process. i really just want to bbe there for all of my friends and i want to prove i care by sacrificing my own health (sleep, mental state, school, etc) and it has ruined me as a person. i dont want to be a debbie downer or whatever the corny phrase is but this shit adds up and in the end i mess up really bad. i want people to depend on me but sometimes everything is too much to handle but i know some people dont have anyone else so i try to help the best i can. i have lots of things going on and ive been honestly reconsidering even having friends anymore because i dont want to constantly stress myself out to the point where i let everything out in a really bad way which would just ruin the entire relationship in the first place.-

still typing yoohoooo

im not gonna go over my corny ass life story like some disney character but i grew up in a bad household and my dad has done things that severely impacted how i think, like how i should always put others before my own health no matter what and always give up things i love to make others happy and much more. so its continued with me throughout my life and i havent been able to shake them off much because i was also taught that it would be selfish to think otherwise. im 16 years old and i still dont know some rights from wrongs and it terrifies me. im so afraid of making a small mistake that i will do so much to hide my emotions but it ends up with it boomeranging back in my ass and hurting people i love and care about. im trying to get better but i am still very scared to communicate how i feel. so if i do some stupid shit im so sorry. ive been slowly taking steps to let others know how i feel but this is a much bigger one i am not yet ready to tell individual people.

i. dont really know hwhat im talking about anymore. i just needed to let this out. thanks

if youre my friend um pls take the time to read this pls im sorry its long but. its really important