1 I don't hate you, shelby. I just get a feeling of alot of big emotion. And that's not accepted here.

2.Emotional stuff still scare me. My mom would yell and tell me to stop crying like someone had died. But i come to find out listening to that was like someone did die. And it was my actual human piece.

3.I never sleep because i worry of people watching me.

4.I don't want people to know i exist. I don't want the spotlight. I don't want to be laughed at. People staring, it just makes me know people are starting to notice.

5.I always hit and kick just to make friends but it backfires because it's not as normal to do that to strangers than with siblings. So that's why i only have 4 friends who actually talk. But they still say i'm scary.

6.I'm a bit sensitive. I still think about being called a attention seeker and not being a good person to "fall in love" with. I really wouldn't care less. But now i do. OF ****ING COURSE. oh god i don't think i should be here

7.I have ALOT of issues now i read out each tiny paragraph. I think i share more about myself here then i do to my closest friends, OH WAIT- I DON'T HAVE ANY OF THOSE. I do enjoy myself some self loathing. I do it alot. i think that's why i know a bit- no. ALOT about my choice of words. I feel like someone just types these out for me. So when i lash out. that's them.

no need for that gross mushy s word.