Rant with a happy ending :)
by:
Dragonhooked 
3075
3075
29.08.2017
15 comments
Dragonhooked[OP]
29.08.2017 05:03
LinkSorry guys Im gonna rant a bit I have some amazing news!! I've begun actually feeling emotions again!!!! :D
I've been through this cycle since about 8th grade where I get emotionally numb and sort of depressed for several months (probably February-June), its happened almost annually. This year has been the worst out of any of the years though, I was more depressed than I've ever been. It started in January when I found out something about myself that I didn't like and it made me constantly feel like crap. Then I began feeling the pressures of beginning adulthood (I'm 18 for anyone who's confused). But I began feeling overwhelmingly unmotivated, having sleep problems and intense and graphic nightmares, I developed a social anxiety and it hit me like a truck, I had no classes with any friends and at lunch I struggled to find anyone to sit with. Then I stopped eating lunch altogether and became sort of bulimic. I began wishing I could cut myself but knew it wasn't a good idea.
Dragonhooked[OP]
29.08.2017 05:04
Link Then every day I began wishing I could just die, and I had urges to end my life.
So I was constantly lonely, lacking sleep and/or food, having a lot of things to do but hardly enough motivation to do anything, hating myself, and wondering if I could live until the next day.
Within the past month or two things have improved, I got a job and don't feel like my parents are constantly in disapproval, and I've altered my way of thinking a bit and have recovered a lot.
Dragonhooked[OP]
29.08.2017 05:04
LinkBut for the first time since January I have been feeling actual emotions again, I was actually happy again for the first time on Friday, I forgot how good it felt.
Just wanted to say this, and thank you all for your support! It has helped me in a few ways and I'm grateful for it.
120tea
29.08.2017 05:13
LinkAWE well I'm glad you're feeling better!! You're a really great artist and person and I'll never want you to doubt yourself because ME A RANDOM STANGER ON LE INTERNET LOVES U
Dragonhooked[OP]
29.08.2017 05:17
Link*^* I'm so incredibly touched... I'm laughing a little but still very touched. Have you been feeling alright-ish lately?
120tea
29.08.2017 05:19
LinkMm kind of. Idk man im at the confused state and sometimes I'll just feel rlly sad and sick but most of the time I'm just blank, but hey I'm trying ?♀️
Dragonhooked[OP]
29.08.2017 05:24
LinkYeah.. A lot of times trying is about all that you can do :P
You got this though.
fuzzywuzzy
29.08.2017 18:03
Linki loaf you dragonhooked!!
Dragonhooked[OP]
29.08.2017 19:19
LinkI loaf you too! ?
...and the flower is a bit low quality sorry. I drew it on my phone.
The flower is pretty! All of your art is!
If this depression thing is annual or it is really bad, get help. Don't just have thoughts of self harm and not deal with them. Talk to someone, find a therapist, find a trustworthy person to talk to. Do something! There are multiple phone numbers that you can call to get help! I'm sorry if this is annoying but I care for you even though I don't know anything about you. Please, if you feel depressed or want to hurt yourself, get help. I don't want you to feel alone, or feel depressed, or want to harm yourself.
Thank you so much... I'm really touched by your concern. I've been going through this mostly alone (with the exception of one friend) for a while now so receiving comments like this is new to me.
But for me personally I have found that its best if I mostly deal with it on my own, I just need someone to talk to every so often which is where my friend comes in. My parents didn't even know until just recently.
I tried talking to a doctor once and it didn't do much for me, in my case I need to learn how to get over it on my own. Luckily as I said in my rant I've sort of changed the way I think and its improved things a lot. I just had some internal issues I had to resolve.
But thank you again, and I promise I'm not going to hurt myself. :)
...and don't worry about being annoying. I understand what you mean and its very nice, thank you.
You are so welcome. Feel free to talk if you need it cause I'm on this site, like, all the time. I am always here for friends... and strangers... idk I'm just a crazy teen that has too much feelings and am willing to take weight off of people's shoulders