Christmas: At summer, you sneak inside Santa's house and steal his stuff

Easter: The Easter Chicken hides stuff in rabbit fetuses and puts them all in one place

Halloween: You wear normal clothes and you stay inside while people visit your house and give you healthy stuff

Saint Patrick's Day: Everybody wears red, and you let the nuahcerpels (leprechauns backwards) roam freely in your backyard.

New Year's Day: You do not celebrate the end of the year, and instead of fireworks, there are nukes exploding everywhere