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That was weird, and funny, I laughed my head off to the first two parts of that random story I texted

the date started off so well began the night not expecting the fright of my life she was perfect from what i could tell how could i not see the danger right in front of me my favorite food is fish baby that's my favorite too i love cartoon dogs baby i love scooby doo hey girl what's your favorite film she said the best movie of all a masterpiece of art called human centipede human centipede i think that im gonna get murdered tonight human centipede not ironically she said the costume design was a highlight i like it for the plot tell me what the plots about german doctor sews three people ass to mouth cool human centipede please god save me i think that's a red flag i don't want to get stabbed she said human centipede is a tour de force i think holy shit im gonna be the main course she said i admire the narrative of character growth i try to get the waiters attention by blinking in morse code why are you blinking so much ive got something in my eye here let me get it out no thank you i don't wanna die bonjour

sir was blinking at me is this because your date is a freak no very good then bon appetit stop hiding behind your silly made up red flag to not take a chance on the best relationship you've never had maybe you're right and im looking for excuses my heart's got bruises but im ready to choose this love you could be my world the love of my life one day we'll get married and be husband and wife with a tasteful ceremony and the wedding of our dreams only if the wedding is themed tell me what the theme's gonna be human centipede human centipede that way we can save on the catering bill human centipede only one mouth to feed if you are the best man you know the deal pucker up i can finally open myself up to love i can finally sew a mouth to a butt human centipede human centipede

my world has gone from vibrant life to a dark, earth-shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500-decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I hate gaming laptops.