"WHAT IS IT?" Karkat responded, leaning his head out of a dorway. "OH. ALT-DAVE."

"DO YOU WANT TO COME IN?" Karkat said somewhat sarcastically, his eyes darting back and forth.

"ALRIGHT THEN. I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING, SO I GUESS I'M EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE FOR YOU." Karkat's nose was dripping a bit, and he was bright red. His eyes were glossy and he was gripping his doorframe hard. "COME ON IN."

"YOU KNOW THE ANSWER. LET ME GO GET YOU SOMETHING TO DRINK." Karka scoffed and walked to his alchemizer. He made some mugs of water and put them on his coffee table. "SO WHAT DID HE **** UP NOW?"

"WHAT IS YOUR 'USUAL SHIT'? YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO BLAME YOURSELF FOR WHEN HE IS AN ASS BOYFRIEND." Karkat sniffed and drank the water. "BOTH OF YOU SEEM TO HAVE HORRIBLE COMMUNICATION ISSUES."

"WHAT? OKAY, ALL OF THIS SOUNDS LIKE A BULLSHIT EXPLANATION. IF YOU WANT MY HELP, I WANT TO KNOW THE SITUATION." Karkat said strictly. He knew he was being kind of intolerant, but he didn't know what else to say. "I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BREAK UP WITH HIM ONCE YOU FOUND OUT HE WAS CHEATING ON YOU WHILE YOU WERE ENGAGED."

"DUDE, DO YOU NEED A MINUTE? IT SEEMS LIKE YOU'RE NOT REALLY OKAY WITH TALKING ABOUT THIS." Karkat turned towards him, looking somewhat distressed. His Dave always seemed to be able to say what was on his mind, even if it was usually drivel. But it seemed like Dave's non-sequitur comments and occasional inability to speak has matured. "I DON'T WANT TO LIKE, PRESSURE YOU."

"I DON'T REALLY KNOW, BUT I APPRECIATE THE FACT YOU THINK AN UNAWARE IDIOT LIKE ME WOULD. YOU GOTTA THINK THIS THROUGH. TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE MY BRAIN ****ING EXPLODES WHILE I TRY FIGURE OUT WHAT HAPPENED MYSELF."

"WELL, I JUST GOT DUMPED. BUT IT WASN'T GOING TO LAST, AND IT WAS FOR THE BEST. STILL HURTS THOUGH." Karkat shrugged. "BUT I'VE GOT PEOPLE HERE TO SUPPORT ME. HOW ARE YOU?"

"I MEAN YOU'RE NOT GOOD, I JUST MEAN HOW ARE YOU HOLDING UP AND OR WHAT CAN I DO TO GET YOU TO REALIZE HOW ****ING AWFL YOUR FIANCEE IS.

"ALRIGHT... ****, THIS IS HARD. WHAT EVEN HAPPENED?" Karkat was suspicious. He didn't know how Dave was in a relationship, but he doubted he was open about he was feeling. "DOES HE EVEN KNOW WHAT REALLY HAPPENED? OR WHY IT HAPPENED?"

"SO IF HE CHANGED THE TIMELINE, WHAT WILL HAPPEN? I THOUGHT DOOMED TIMELINES STAYED UNTIL THEY WERE EVENTUALLY KILLED OFF/PETERED IN NOTHINGNESS. SINCE YOU'VE WON THE GAME, WON'T YOU BE ALRIGHT?"

"WAIT, WHY IS THAT A BAD THING? YOUR UNIVERSE WILL MAKE IT! YOU SPENT SO MUCH ****ING TIME MAKING THE PERFECT TIMELINE, AND YOU'VE GOT IT." This was weird. All time on the meteor was spent strategizing or making out, and now it all pays off. He gets to live in a good universe with his husband.

"WHAT? THAT'S ****ING RIDICULOUS! THE DREAMBUBBLES EXIST, WON'T YOU GO THERE WHEN YOU FINALLY BITE THE DUST? AND YOU'RE GOD TIER! YOU CAN'T DIE UNLESS THERE'S SOME SORT OF ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT." Karkat couldn't believe it. The Horrorterrors struck a deal and made the dreambubbles, and now they just pull back? Or do they just not exist?

"ARE YOU *FROM* A DIFFERENT TIMELINE? IS THIS SOME SORT OF HOPPING SITUATION? DAMMIT, TIME TRAVEL IS SO WEIRD." Karkat massaged his temples, as though he was getting a headache just thinking about it.

"WHAT? YOU CAME TO ME FOR HELP. YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME EXACTLY WHAT SHIT YOU'RE DEALING WITH, NOT ME RANTING ABOUT HOW I RUINED MY ALREADY BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS." Karkat pointed at Dave.

"SHUT UP. FINE. I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIX THINGS WITH TEREZI FOR A WHILE, AND I WANTED TO TRY OUT VACILLATION. BUT SHE KNOWS THAT I CAN'T HAVE HER FOR EVERYTHING, AND THAT I'M AN OVERBEARING PERSON. SO SHE VOICED HER CONCERNS, I VOICED MINE, AND SHE DECIDED IT WOULD BE BEST IF WE WENT BACK TO BEING FRIENDS. IT MAKES SENSE THOUGH, SHES VRISKA'S MOIRAIL, AND IS ACTUALLY GOOD AT IT. AND SHE'S FLUSHING RED FOR DAVE. SO I GUESS I'M JUST KIND OF LONELY, AND I'M IN A FIGHT WITH MY DAVE RIGHT NOW. WE'VE BEEN SORT OF REVERSE-IRONY BROS FOR A WHILE, BUT I WOULDN'T SHUT MY EVER-LOVING MOUTH ABOUT HOW I MISSED TEREZI,EVEN THOUGH HE CLEARLY STATED HIS BOUNDARIES ABOUT HOW IT MAKES HIM UNCOMFORTABLE. HE'S SO ANNOYING, NEVER SAYING HOW HE'S REALLY FEELING. WHENEVER I TRY TO BE HONEST ABOUT HOW I'M FEELING WITH HIM, HE JUST DEFLECTS IT WITH SARCASM. I HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHAT HE ACTUALLY WANTS WITH MY 'GOOD' PEOPLE SKILLS. THE ACCLAIMED PEOPLE SKILLS I HAVE, YOU KNOW THE ONES! THE ONES THAT ALLOW ME TO **** UP EVERY INTERACTION

I HAVE, OR THE ONES WHERE I ALLOW EVERYTHING TO COME SPILLING OUT OF MY MOUTH." Karkat realized how long he was talking and sighed. "SORRY, IT ALL JUST CAME SPILLING OUT. I CAN ONLY REALLY TALK TO KANAYA ABOUT IT, AND SHE'S SO BUSY THESE DAYS..."

//it cut me off. i got WAY too into character lol//

//oopsies//

"WELL, IT'S SORT OF COMPLICATED. I KNOW THAT HE JUST HAS TROUBLE BEING OPEN. AND I DO TOO, BUT I'M MAKING PROGRESS. IT'S JUST SO INFURIATING WHEN HE REFUSES TO." Karkat said, very guiltily. "BUT YOU'RE NOT HIM. WE'RE JUST SHITTY TEENS."

"DUDE. I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE NOT SEEING THE WHOLE PICTURE." Karkat pulled out a piece of paper and a marker. "I'LL WALK YOU THROUGH THIS."

Karkat drew a circle, and wrote things you can control inside it. "WHAT ARE SOME THINGS YOU CAN CONTROL?"

"OKAY. WHAT ABOUT YOUR ACTIONS, OR YOUR ATTITUDE? I'LL PUT DOWN YOUR THOUGHTS AS WELL." Karkat wrote down everything in a spidery-looking thing, and drew a second circle that said 'what you can't control'. "WHAT CAN'T YOU CONTROL?"

"OKAY, THAT'S WRITTEN DOWN. YOU ALSO CAN'T CONTROL WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF YOU, WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO, OR TIME. WELL, YOU CAN CONTROL TIME ACTUALLY." Karkat giggled as he crossed out time.

"BUT, YOU SEE THIS? YOU CAN'T BLAME YOURSELF FOR WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO. YOU CAN REACH OUT OR HELP THEM, BUT YOU CAN'T FORCE THEM TO DO SOMETHING. YOU HAVE TO HAVE A CONVERSATION. IF YOU WANT THINGS TO BE BETTER, YOU HAVE TO USE WHAT YOU *CAN* CONTROL TO DO WHAT YOU *CAN'T*. BY CONTROLLING YOUR WORDS, YOU CAN INFLUENCE SOMEONE'S ACTIONS. THIS IS ALL PRETTY ELEMENTARY SHIT, BUT EVERYONE I'VE MET CANNOT GRASP IT."

"INCLUDING MYSELF. EVERYONE STRUGGLES WITH IT AT SOME POINT." Karkat frowned. "I REALLY CAN'T APPLY IT, BUT I FOR SURE UNDERSTAND IT."

"DUDE, YOU'VE GOTTA STOP DEFLECTING. IT'S SO FRUSTRATING TO HELP YOU WHEN YOU'RE LIKE THIS." Karkat looked down.

"I'M TRYING TO HAVE AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION, AND YOU'RE JUST LAUGHING IT OFF, LIKE YOU'RE MAKING A JOKE." Was he going to far? Was this too much?

"WELL, I DON'T BLAME HIM. IT'S KIND OF HARD TO TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY OR RESPECT YOU WHEN I KNOW YOU'LL JUST BRUSH IT OFF. IT MAKES ME WANT TO SHAKE SOME SENSE INTO YOU, BUT I CAN'T CONTROL HOW YOU FEEL." Karkat looked down towards the floor.

//gtg i got class, but ill be back online around 4//

"I'M SORRY. BUT THIS COULD BE WHY HE SEEMS SO FRUSTRATED WITH YOU. YOU BOTH HAVE TO DO YOUR PART." Karkat leaned onto Dave. Is... Is he pale for him?

"YOU BOTH HAVE TO BE A FOUNDATION. YOU HAVE TO HOLD UP EACH OTHER. YOU NEED TO TALK TO HIM. IT SOUNDS LIKE HE DOESN'T SOUND LIKE HE REALIZES WHAT HE'S DOING WRONG." He mumbled in reply. "...GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M DEFENDING..."

"DEFENDING A CHEATER..."

"SORRY. DID YOU GUYS EVER TALK ABOUT IT?"

"THAT SEEMS LIKE A BAD IDEA. YOU HAVE TO HOLE EACH OTHER UP, AND WHEN DOING THAT YOU'VE GOT TO KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING. YOU HAVE TO HELP EACH OTHER." Karkat sighed. "I SHOULD BE A MARRAIGE COUNSELOR. IT SEEMS LIKE EVERY RELATIONSHIP I'VE EVER SEEN CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY'RE DOING WRONG."

"HE HASN'T WATCHED A ROM-COM?! ****, I DON'T WANT TO BE HIM." Karkat laughed along with Dave.

"WHAT? THAT WORKED? ****, I THOUGHT I'D GIVE UP ON THAT. I CARE ABOUT GAMZEE A LOT, SO I'M GLAD HE'S DOING BETTER. IS HE *ACTUALLY* DOING BETTER, OR IS HE FAKING IT OR SOMETHING?" Karkat looked up towards the vents. He listened intently for honks, metal squeaks, or laughs.

"I WISH I COULD DO THAT... I MISS HIM A LOT." Karkat felt horrible. He had seen Gamzee 3 weeks ago, and Gamzee was very quiet. He tried to say something, but Gamzee wouldn't have it. He shouldn't have stayed around so long. He should have left him alone. He looked up towards Dave. "DOES HE HAVE ANY... QUADRANTMATES?"

"I MEANT GAMZEE, BUT DOES KARKAT?" Karkat knew what he wanted to hear. He wanted him to be with her, and Dave, and Gamzee. But he can't.

"HOLD ON. SO I HAVE 2 QUESTIONS. ANSWER THIS ONE FIRST. ARE YOU COMFORTABLE WITH THAT?" Karkat put his hands up, but didn't move from Dave's shoulder.

"I MEAN GAMZEE, TOO. MOIRAILLEGACNE CAN BE KIND OF PHYSICAL, BUT IT COULD ALSO BE SOLELY VERBAL. BUT YOU SHOULD VOICE YOUR CONCERNS TO HIM. BUT YOU SHOULD TALK TO HIM AND TEREZI ABOUT THAT, ESPECIALLY IF IT'S HURTING THEM." Karkat's hands tapped on his legs.

"OKAY, LET'S EXPAND ON THAT. I DOUBT YOU CAN CHANGE HIS MIND, BUT HE COULD GIVE YOU A BIT OF PEACE OF MIND IF YOU TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT AND ASK HIM TO EXPLAIN IT. DON'T LIKE, BE AN ASSHOLE ABOUT IT THOUGH." Karkat pointed at Dave's face, but has a bit of trouble. He's facing away, so he ends up just pointing towards the air in front of Dave's face.

Karkat then turned his head and smiled. "WHATEVER. POINT STILL STANDING, HERE'S MY NEXT QUESTION. YOU KNOW WHAT A MOIRAIL IS, DON'T YOU?"

"SO WHY DO YOU ACT LIKE YOU DON'T? TROLL ROMANCE IS IMPORTANT TO HIM, AND I'LL BET IT HURTS WHEN YOU DON'T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY." Karkat felt mad, Dave didn't take troll romance seriously now, so would he ever?

Karkat smiled. This sounded adorable. It seems weird that they didn't really change much, despite the fact they're suffering from survivor's syndrome.

"SEEMS LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO, YOU JUST NEEDED TO HEAR IT FROM ME. I'M GLAD AT LEAST SOMEONE RECOGNIZES MY SKILLS IN ROMANCE." Karkat rolled his eyes.

Karkat heard the sarcasm in his voice, but didn't seem to care. He burrowed into Dave's cape. "THANKS, ASSHOLE."

"IT'S NOT A FETISH. IT JUST MEANS THAT I THINK YOU'RE CAPE IS SOFT AS HELL." Karkat scoffed, barely heard through Dave's thick cape.

"YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING! I'LL RIP IT, I SWEAR!" Karkat stuck his head out from the top, standing on his knees, so that he was eye level with Dave. Dave was older, with much softer features. He still had his glasses, though they were too small for him.

"DO THAT AND I TELL TEREZI YOU'VE BEEN COMING HERE."

"****... I'LL TELL HER THAT SHE DATES GAMZEE IN THE FUTURE. THAT'LL GET TO HER..." Karkat, quite obliviously, assumed this would drive her nuts.

"WHAT? I'M NOT ACTUALLY GOING TO DO IT, DAMN." Karkat said.

"WHY CAN'T I? YOU'RE BEING SO ****ING WEIRD." Karkat lets it go. "I WASN'T GOING TO EVEN TALK TO HER FOR A WHILE."

"UH... I WON'T. GOD THAT WAS KIND OF HEAVY." Karkat sat in silence. "I DOUBT SHE WILL. SHE'S SEEING DAVE RIGHT NOW, I THINK."

"OH MY ****ING GOD, YOU'RE STILL MAKING THESE JOKES?! I THOUGHT YOU'D GET OVER THIS, JEGUS." Karkat put his head in his hands.

//gtg i have dinner. ill be back in a bit//

"UGH. YOU'RE INSUFFERABLE. AND MY MOVIES ARE GREAT, EVER SEEN FAILURE TO LAUNCH? OR SERENDIPITY? OR *TITANIC*? THOSE ARE THE SHIT. YOUR JOKES AREN'T EVEN IRONICALLY GOOD." Karkat jeered.

"YOU MISUNDERSTAND THEIR CULTURAL SIGNIFICANCE. I DOUBT HUMANS COULD EVER COMPREHEND THE COMPLEXITIES OF THE ROMANTIC-COMEDY GENRE. YOU HUMANS HAVE ALWAYS ****ING *MISUNDERSTOOD* EACH OF THEM, EXCEPT FOR JOHN (SURPRISINGLY, THE DUMBASS HE IS). HE LIKED FAILURE TO LAUNCH, BUT THAT WAS IT. I GUESS YOU JUST HAVEN'T SEEN THEM ON YOUR PLANET." Karkat gesticulated frantically, as though he's never gotten to express these feelings.

"LITTLE MONSTERS IS HOT ****ING GARBAGE, AND YOU CAN'T EVER GET ME TO LIKE THAT PILE OF HOOF-BEAST SHIT." Karkat threw up his hands, exasperated. "EVEN IRONICALLY. IRONY IS DUMB. CINEMA IS ALL ABOUT SINCERITY, AND TAKING THAT AWAY MAKES IT JUST A BUNCH OF DUMBASSES JUMPING AROUND ON A SCREEN."

"NO. IRONY IS ****ING STUPID." Karkat flipped off Dave.

"I HAVE TRIUMPHED. THE DAY HAS COME. THE METEOR IS MINE!" Karkat shook his fists in the air.

"SIC SEMPER TYRANNUS!" Karkat stood up, and lightly placed one foot on Dave's stomach.

"WHAT THE **** ARE YOU DOING?" Karkat didn't laugh. He looked at what Dave was doing, and decided to try it.

Karkat was taken aback for a moment, but kept going. It was hilarious to watch.

Karkat jumped off and started laughing too.

"YOU'RE OBJECTIVELY WRONG!"

Karkat stopped tickling Dave. "WHAT WAS THAT?"

"NO, WHAT THE **** WAS THAT?"

"WHEN I STUCK MY VIBRATING HANDS IN YOUR ARPITS, YOU STARTED LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY! WHAT THE **** HAPPENED?"

"TICKLING? THAT SOUNDS LIKE KINKY SHIT."

"SO IF SOMEONE WIGGLES THEIR FINGERS ON A HUMAN, THEY START LAUGHING LIKE IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD?"

"THIS IS SO DAMN STRANGE. YOU HUMAN'S BODIES ARE SO FRAGILE."

Karkat smiled and shrugged.

"UH, SURE. KINDA SUDDEN, BUT OH WELL." Karkat slowly opened his arms.

"MY DAVE ISN'T REALLY A DICK..." Karkat mumbled, hugging him tight.

"HE'S JUST A DUMBASS, WHO CAN'T LISTEN TO ME, OUT OF FEAR THAT HE'LL SEEM LIKE A PUSSY..."

"..." Karkat was quiet, holding him close. His fingers started to dig into Dave's back, his claws dully digging into his back.

"YEAH. I JUST... I DON'T KNOW..."

"THANKS MAN." Karkat shut his eyes.

FRICK

🥺 yes