wowo can't wait

cant wait 0w0

........do you take constructive criticism on your writing because hoo boy

SCREEEEEE ME MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENES NEXTTTTTT

No, I don’t, I was just asking because I didn’t want to give unsolicited critique. And now I will give said critique, because you said you’d take it. (I think I’m better at writing than art so I much prefer talking about it and critiquing people on it)

First off, script style writing makes you look like a five year old that only picked up the craft a week ago. It’s better to write in a novel style and give more description as to where the characters are. Something like “Ryana was sleeping lightly in her bed, snoring. Her mother, Lydia, calls up to her to try and rouse her from sleep” so on and so forth. DESCRIBE PLACES AND CHARACTERS. It’s the classic show, don’t tell. These characters all act like cardboard cutouts of each other. Sure, there are minor differences, but they all speak in the same stilted dialogue and have similar attitudes towards everything. They don’t seem like they’re supposed to be friends, they seem like awkward acquaintances who just met two days ago and don’t really lik each other’s company. Also, please, fix your grammar. Pleeeeeeease. Capital letters are your friend, commas are necessary, and periods do have a purpose. Okay non-rambly just try to work on using novel format and describing and fleshing out your char

It’s a good start if you’ve literally just started trying to transition from role playing to writing, but there are definitely some things you could improve on. Sites like springhole.net are good for writing advice! (Personally I love springhole)