Sun Breaker's backstory
51 comments
Mustang[OP]
22.06.2019 00:38
LinkThis is gonna take a while
Mustang[OP]
22.06.2019 00:38
LinkSo lemme type plz. If u don't... SHREK WILL COME AFTER YA
Sun Was just a noramal foal happy as can be. But one day he noticed that he had a power, he had the power of fire. He used the power whenever his foal friends weren't looking, he did not want them to notice. One day when it was time for him to find his own herd and leave his parents, something bad happend. Sun accidentally used his fire powers and shot flames out of his red orange mane. All the horses were scared and ran away, even his parents. Sun was all alone, and the flames inside of him grew stronger and stronger. He grew fire mane. Like the mane he has to this day. Sun tried looking for his herd but no where was one single horse to be found. Sun was sad and mad and scared of his own self. He put everyone in danger including himself. So he ran away into the forest. Sun became depressed, lonely, and weak. If any wild horse came up to him they would quickly take a look at his flaming mane and take off. One night a black and mysterious horse with horns and drak red mane came up to him and said-
"If you want to be happy and not alone....join us". Sun turned back. But the pitch black horse grew bigger and convinced him that the only way to be happy was to make others become your friend. Sun agreed he was very weak in the soul at this time and had no choice. The dark horse gave him a dark beam of power and sun became stronger, cooler, and meaner. To this day Sun has been known as Sun Breaker, and whatever he touches will burn just like the sun.
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It's pretty neato :o
the only thing is that the villain (the pitch black horse) seems kinda cliche
it'd be cool if somehow throughout the story we'd learn his motive (maybe like he was wronged in the past, abusive parents/guardians, became too strong in his belief, etc.)
It'd also help tie the story together if we had more information on Sun/Sun Breaker's connection with other characters. Like, for example, it sounds like the only reason his parents are there is to cower from him in the story.
Those are just my thoughts, I still think it's an interesting story -v-
