lol

is everybody gone?

okay,

i'm cussing a lot-sorry if anybody sees this

okay. why the **** is it that at school everybody sees me as the chill kid who does not give a shit. i made a comment about suicide at the river with my friends and they just said "simon..don't be silly" this isn't a ****ing joke. life is a serious game. lots of people do vents,am i just another person like them? what the **** is wrong with my mindset. am i not thinking enough. am i not smart enough or what. why did my mom tell me to get a life when i was in the hospital about to die. what the **** is wrong,why am i not enough and why am i such a failure that i even fail at suicide. what the hell.

why do people think its trendy to be depressed. those are the people that dont get abused by your own father. those are the people that haven't tried to make a noose to hang yourself. those people suck. they think its funny and quirky to be anxious.its.not.cute.its ****ing scary to wake up and think wow,i'm gonna go kill my self. have you ever actually tried to kill yourself but your such a failure that you cant even do that right?

like what the ****.it pisses me off. people think i'm chill,innocent and the one who lends you a shoulder to cry on. but who is there for me?nobody. 100% nobody. even if though you can say that your here for me,your not going to be able to hold my tears for long.everybody gets tired of me whining and moves on. stop ****ing doing that to people. its shitty and rude

okay i'm done :)