summon
happy new year (pls share)
Laura Prepon, aka Alex Vause
Flipanim:the untold story
Water Dragon
Leviathan doodle
dragon
Chapter 1 of TDW
by:
MicroMelody 
567
567
14.01.2019
15 comments
MicroMelody[OP]
14.01.2019 20:30
LinkAvery sat down on the grass feeling the cool wind rip through her jet black hair wildly. She had a emotionless expression, as if she always had this feeling inside her. She was staring off into the distance until a voice broke the silence.
"AVERY DEAR!" yelled someone
"Yes Mom, what is it?" Avery calmly said
"what are you doing" her Mom raised an eyebrow
"Nothing" Avery calmly said turning around
MicroMelody[OP]
14.01.2019 20:36
LinkHer Mom stood there in silence thinking of what to say while Avery still stared into the distance. Her Mom try to say something but word weren't able to come out. Finally after 10 mins she broke the silence again.
"Are you sure it's nothing Ave" She said, walking closer to Avery
"yes mother" Avery emotionlessly said, still staring at the sky
MicroMelody[OP]
14.01.2019 20:42
Link"O-Okay Ave" her mother worryingly said, walking back into the house.
Avery looked at her hands with curiosity, as if she thought something would have happened. She kept mumbling strange words to herself, asking questions in her head not saying anything out loud just in case someone would hear her.
"Why am i so emotionless al of a sudden" she said questionably "oh yeah I know why"
MicroMelody[OP]
14.01.2019 20:46
LinkShe stood up and walked away from the house as if she new where to go. Avery stopped in a middle of a field, waiting impatiently for something to happen, but nothing.
(I'm going to stop there okay I'll continue later comment heHere if you have anything to say about it or anytthing I can change)
i do, you should vary in the begginning, when you said 'she said calmly' twice. Try to vary in the way you say things like that, and try to not repeat it twice in a row while she's talking .
maybe you could say 'she sighed in a calm way' or 'she calmly replied'
sorry, I'm a writer so i kinda get ahead of things and catch tiny mistakes like that :/
my grandma used to teach writing so...
YEAH GRANDMA GAVE ME WEIRD WRITING POWERS