In my 14 years of life... i have never missed my childhood so much... it was so short. i don't remember much but i wish i was still small... small enough to be carried.. small enough to not notice how cruel the world is

We were all so small... so.. very small. we were happy.. now everything is painful. stress, anxiety, depression... its like.. what happened? where did all our joy go? why do we only feel pain? it hurts... it hurts so much... i wanna hug my mom without her questioning... i wanna see my dad again... i ju we just want love...

this might sound stupid but... I just want my mommy... I miss being the only thing she cared for.. its selfish I know but.. back then it was only me and her.. against the world... I love her so much and I'm scared for the day she leaves me... leaves this world... I don't wanna be alone... I'm tired of pretending its fine when its not... I don't wanna feel numb... I wanna feel... something... anything... I just.. want love... I've been broken for so long its tiring... picking myself up has become harder than ever... and even though I made a promise... I don't think I can take it anymore... I wanna run.. I wanna hide... but I can't.. why am I so... broken?

My mask is falling and I don't care anymore. I just want someone to understand... I hate this... I hate myself.