I knew I'd get hurt

I can't stop shaking..

I don't want to breathe

I don't want to move

I feel sick

God I'm so foolish It's all my fault..

I was so focused on my job I forgot to make time for him- Now I'm a stupid shitty boyfriend?

I just wanted to surprise him.. I wanted to save up enough money to visit him and give him anything he wanted To make him happy, to see his smile And I'm nothing to him. He never ****ing loved me.

I feel so small.. I hurt Yet I feel nothing? The only thoughts in my mind are the sweet bliss of and endless black void

Oh the thought of it makes me so happy But I can't do it. I made a promise to the people who care. So all I can do is smoke and hope I can forget this

I'm gonna clear my head before I do something stupid. I'm gonna go play my game

If you hadent had thought it. You wouldn't have said it. If you hadn't had thought about it it wouldn't be true Everything you do from now on will be because of me? I've spent this entire time thinking about what I was going to do if you killed yourself. I guess that's what I get for waning to be happy. For trying to make you happy.

Why can't you just let me finally rot in my depressive broken state? Why does everyone think that I deserve so much? You where the first person I dated on here. You left me because my dumbass friend wouldn't stop flirting. And I haven't been the same since. I drowned myself in books and school and work to try and hide my pain. Now all I do is work until my body is sore and I go home and sleep When school starts I make sure I have a shit ton of work to do so I can gett good grades. To become the chef I've always. Wanted to be I want to make my mother proud. Before she's gone. I don't know how much time I have left with her... Losing you is like losing my mother. Except if I lose you I'll lose myself. I'll climb to the copper penny building and jump once again. And I'll make sure I won't make it this time. But what's the point of you veiw me as a shitty person? So I'll just stay right here and cry until I throw up

I've been going through a lot of shit lately And this just took the cake You get enough attention from your "Darlings".and your "loves". You don't ****ing need me. I don't need. Your fake "babe" and your fake "I love you" I'm going to get my wood carving set, then I can make sure you can be happy!

I've only wanted to make you happy? I can't even do that right. So you can do so much better than me. I think you'd be happy if I had walked into that bullet that day. You would've never met me and. It'd all be okay

Heh For some reason I don't believe those words. They seem forced. They seem desperate. There are alot of people that like you. You don't need me. You never needed me. Stop making yourself think that

I'm gonna get my box. Good-bye Jericho. I hope you can be happy.