On one hand I messed up and in a way that makes me feel like I failed someone important to me. I upset them and I totally get it. But also the way I messed up was not only a complete accident and it kind of hurt me as well, and I feel like I deserve just a little more understanding for it. And I don't know how to explain this without sounding like a selfish prick.

I don't want your help or pity or whatever. I just need to write things down to understand them sometimes.