i finally came 2 termz with the fact that since im mspec and nb im allowed to experience "gay attraction" or w/e since it wouldnt be straight attraction in any context and i feel weird saying i also like guyz coz i dont wanna "seem straight" or w/e coz im not fully out but i just get insecure abt guyz seeing me az female rather than nb and if i want a guy 2 like me i want a NOT straight guy 2 like me so they wont see me az fem if that makez sense