I can actually recite the entire modern major general song. Our school play was falling apart, so I decided to go completely off the rails, considering i was in a general outfit. I started singing, "I am the very model of a modern major general." And eventually, everyone started playing along.

I saved the play. You see, we had a bunch of bad actors.

And then afterwards the play went back to shit but I still think I did a good job.

I don't have a brain.