sonic doing sonic things
hanmdsomne squibbarb
Cereal
Minicat
BOOM
Trampoline or just bouncy
Untitled
I need to open up about things
by:
Ethan-Bean 
1052
1052
27.02.2019
9 comments
Ethan-Bean[OP]
27.02.2019 21:25
LinkOh my gosh, where do I even start. This isn't for the drama, this is just to explain more about me and what's been truly going on.
Honestly I feel fine but I don't want to feel fine. But there's something in me that isn't fine but it's making me feel fine. I feel like there is something there but I can't tell what it is. I've been overwhelmed with school work and projects, keeping my grades good, worrying about my girlfriend, and worrying about family. I used to fight with my family a lot because they annoyed me, but all the sudden ever since my girlfriend went into a coma and I got so much work on my shoulders I've all the sudden been nice to them without talking back, just nice, and if someone said or did something bad to me I never actually said or did something back, All I did was ignore it and tell them something nice. It was like a switch that just flicked a different direction. I don't know why all the sudden I chose to when I don't mean to chose it.
Ethan-Bean[OP]
27.02.2019 21:27
LinkI've made it my goal and my all to be happy instead of sad ever since she went into a coma, I made myself forget anything bad about the coma. I just told myself she's okay and she'll wake up soon. That's all I've been telling myself. I have a sensation that if she died she'd watch over me like a beautiful bird. As if god existed but doesn't I'm not even religious
bluePROdraws
27.02.2019 21:29
LinkO i do hope shes ok
bluePROdraws
27.02.2019 21:29
LinkI wish i could help m8.
Ethan-Bean[OP]
27.02.2019 21:30
LinkI don't feel as good or as strong I feel weak and vulnerable, but I have a feeling of opportunities and goals and I've just been reaching and holding tight onto them. I used to lash out my feelings on other people which I never should have, I feel like there's something inside of me that changed, it's like my two brain lobes switched. If only I could better understand what I'm feeling then I would say the word but there is no word except, Different. And Different doesn't describe this feeling to it's fullest, there's a word that fits just right with what I'm feeling but it doesn't exist at the moment, it's not out there
Ethan-Bean[OP]
27.02.2019 21:31
LinkIt's like a confusion but I know what I'm doing but I'm not controlling it as myself. Maybe I'll update it and turn it into a story instead who knows.
Omg ethan...r u ok?
Thats some pretty heavy stuff!
oml, I wish i could help