We are the most interesting and entertaining zoo you'll ever visit. We have exhibits of blood, rocks, hot dogs, wild angry birds, and the rare King Turd! We also have a purple gay cat over here in Zoo, along with a very intelligent snake, an angry bird, and a floating head. We're home to the blue box, also know as the blue thing. Step right in, and you'll be shoved into a very special place...

1492- The Mayflower capsule landed on the surface of America. Christopher Columbus would make the historical first step on American grounds. This would later become the Zoo. 1538- Absolutely Nothing happened at all. 1547- A guy found a piece of gold in the sstream of the land, he threw it away and captured five humans. 1549- That same guy made a walk in jail. People from distant lands could walk through an see captive humans in their natural habitat. 1550- The guy gave themself a name. Their name is Gerald. 1600- The world ended with the Zoo being the last remnant of Earth. 1606- With the help of singers the Zoo created Earth again. 1623- The singers were captured and placed in their own exhibit. 1693- History repeated itself so yeah nothing happened.

1700- The Zoo placed in "normal" exhibits, one of which included a demigod known as Thor. 1765- Trimbo Cashlong(Owner of the Omni-Zoo at the time) Invented Time Travel. 1766- Procrastination Time 1768- Trimbo went forward in time to bring back the most intelligent inventors and scientists. Together they would bring back the dinosaurs. 1803- Atlantis was stuffed into the Omni-Zoo. 1804- Atlantis became the Omni-Zoo. 1805- The Omni-Zoo broke up with Atlantis. 1823- We needed another date to end in "23".

1856- The Omni-Zoo started to add planets. The first ones were Saturn and Mercury(Don't ask how). 1895- Imanangrybird did not exist yet. The Zoo expanded into Arkansas. 1898- Arkansas said "no". 1899- After a brief war with Arkansas the Zoo answered, "Ok.". 1900- The Zoo blew up and profits skyrocketed somehow. 1905- The Zoo added the "Coal Exhibit". This would prove to be quite profitable. 1915- The Zoo reclaimed Arkansas for the Lizards. 1929- The Zoo teleported to the Moon to avoid the "Great Depression". 1937- The Moon's economy crashes.

1939- The Zoo did not trust the Earth anymore. 1940- The Zoo came back to Earth and landed on Sydney. 1943- The Zoo succeeded from the United States. 1946- After a week long battle with the U.S. the Zoo secretly won World War II. 1949- The U.S. bought every history book publisher and distributor. 1952- The Zoo discovered Oil! They proceeded to create "The Oil Exhibit. 1953- The United States sent a love letter. The Zoo proceeded to block the U.S. with Snakes. 1958- Doctor Snake sued the Omni-Zoo. This case lasted for a full three seconds. 1962- The Omni-Zoo entered the Space Race.

1968- The Omni-Zoo created an alliance with the U.S.. 1969- After created a scale model moon in the sky, the U.S. sent in their Astronauts. 1972- The original Moon was destroyed to conceal any evidence. 1980- The Omni-Zoo added in H.P. Lovecraft as an exhibit. 1986- The number "3,982" was rediscovered. 1994- By popular demand, an exhibit of Disco was created. 1999- The world almost ended. 2000- The world did indeed end.

2002- The Dark Lord returns and wss accepted into the Zoo to be a Zookeeper. 2006- The Omni-Zoo had a war with Disney(Cooperate Mouse). 2008- The Omni-Zoo bought Disney somehow. 2010- Disney was kicked of of the Omni-Zoo family. However they were placed into a exhibit. 2015- The Zoo was bankrupt. 2016- The Zoo was no longer bankrupt. 2018- The Zoo added the planet known as "Earth" into an exhibit. 2019- The Zoo was born!

Reviews: 1/5 The squid tasted like calamari. I like calamari. -A Vent Lover 5/5 idk where my mom is she went into the blue thing and i havent seen her since help my family is sad -***** 5/5 My peepee grew 3 inches in the bathroom. Also the squid looks like an octopus. -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 4/5 Squidward is an octopus, not a squid. -Squidward fan

4/5 i threw up in the parking lot - hejsndmjc\ 1/5 Doctor Snake exists. -Everyone 4/5 Needs more cats. -cat ****er 2/5 Wtf are half of these things -ewwwwwwwwwe 5/5 you have god -yes 1/5 it was ok i guess -t 0/5 OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED KENNY! YOU BASTARDS! -Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski

Zoo Lore: (written entirely by Dr. Snake. give him some credit & love y'all) dunno why that didnt paste at the right part eh

also I THOUGHT SOUTHERNERS WERE SUPPOSED TO SAY Y'ALL

uploading at 1 in the morning nice

gonna have to perform V O R E