about a year ago i spoke about something rather personal. it has once again been brought to mind and i find it important to tell someone. i have the original post here. (https://flipanim.com/anim=24qflrib) and another (i cannot find, perhaps i had deleted it) that pretty talked about another time my dad had skeeved me out a bit. long story short it was when my brother had started to learn how to walk (hes 3 now) i had bent over to pick him up (or put him down i no longer recall) and my dad had confessed to me that he had wanted to slap my behind. another (around the same time) we were in my parents room, having some father daughter time (at the time of these events i was presenting female and using she/her pronouns). we were watching a movie, trashing on it because it was stupid. he then crawled up behind me and started rubbing my shoulders. i know that doesn't sound weird but i didn't like being pulled into him lap as well. 1/2

now, the reason i bring this up again. yesterday my family was out in the living room, my dad had his shirt off and i made the comment/joke that it was stupid men could do that and women cannot. my mother dropped something and me and him start to look for it while she and my sister left to get somethings for dinner. he stopped and looked at me saying, "you know, i don't mind it if you have your shirt off. your mom might but i wont. you would just have to do it while she wasn't here" I was uncomfortable, obviously, but i want to know if im being a bit overactive. i've been presenting as male for quite a few years now and he sees me as his son and thus does not care then again, hes one of the few that does not use my preferred pronouns. 2/2

these were prewritten, i want this to be out quickly.

are you sure im not overreacting? he is my dad, the only dad ive ever known.

he was doing some gardening yesterday, does that count as touching grass?

thats part of my issue here, if its nothing then i get him in trouble and i lose my father but if it is something i still lose him. its a lose lose situation, my brother can't grow up without a father and my sister has finally warmed up to him after all these years. i can't do that to here either. there's also the issue that mom might not believe me and who knows what would happen then, she might kick me out again.

im not telling her, she'll go ballistic, shes already had one father figure disappoint her. i know she'll understand how im feeling (For reasons im not going to discuss without permission.) but she used to sleep with a knife. a f.cking knife imagine what she'll do to him.

id rather my sister not go to jail for murder.

im 18 next january, i could just wait it out and move.

im much closer to him then the other two so im not that worried it would happen to them too but its still there. maybe i should let my sister know, ask her if anything like that has happened between him and her too.

ill talk to her then. or try to im panicking.

other then here, no, ive told no one.

the most recent event was yesterday (as said in the top comments) and sometimes little remarks. i have know idea how to tell anyone i want mom to know so she can comfort me but i don't want her to at the same time.

no my issue was being pulled into his lap. but im also not one for physical interaction.

i know but im terrified, what if he denies everything i don't have any physical proof of anything.

thats a good point, i could call my oma, im sure she'll be able to help. i trust her way more then opa mostly bc shes a women and im sure shes had to deal with men. my grandmother is very pretty. but shes at work right now.