Hell yee I really like talking about myself I guess...

Ok let me type woman

My mother helps me remember things I need to do...

Nu it’s notttt

Oki let me start after this comment

Any ways I’ll start now... I was born on February the 23rd in the year 2007 to my mother and my father ( names I can’t tell ) Due to me being malnourished as a fetus ( I refused to eat I’m okay I swear) I was born early and struggled to live ( my parents honestly should’ve pulled the plug ) after I was brought home ( we had a dog at the time his name was max ) max grew a liking to me and he was my best friend...until he got ran over. Anyway my father died soon after my dog...wow I lose everything to death don’t I? My first word was cereal. **** I can’t concentrate when it’s on big paragraph...imma space the out the words so don’t comment after this

My father was extremely smart and so was my mother so I was intelligent even as a child, I learned quickly. My sister always fell behind me in so many ways...then my mother met my baby brothers dad ( Adam) and had my little brother...when the started Concentrating on my little brother I turned to books as comfort, my older sister had adored my little brother and my older brother loved him as well ( my family by age my oldest brother *Tristan*my sis *Catrina* *me lol Bianca* then my little bro *AJ* ) everyone seemed to be focusing on him so I minded my own business

I started pre-school and was asked by the school to move up a couple grades, my mother wanted me to be normal so I didn’t. Everyone either hated me or wanted to be my friend at that time. When I moved into the kindergarten my anger issues and anxiety really started to show, I hurt a lot of people without being phased by my own actions, I got what I wanted when I wanted...not at home though I continued to read at home...sometime in the first grade I snapped. The brain working in funny ways when a trauma happens the mind tends to remind you of it constantly...but if you’re lucky, such as me in this situation...it’ll make you forget everything associated with the thing that happened. My mother saw it in me and my parents turned their attention towards me...I don’t remember anything from the first grade. Anything. I think that’s the year it happened. My mother knows what happened but she doesn’t want to tell my about it. That year we started church.

I have quite an explosive personality and being at church didn’t help anything. I always wanted to be doing something and Sunday school made you sit down all the time... I don’t remember much from that year as well...sadly...I do have a vague memory of me meeting this boy...I don’t remember his name but..he was nice. I continued to move schools constantly for reasons I could only guess was my own fault. When settled in a nice little town called midlothian starting the fourth grade with no friends was hard. Then I met these two wonderful girls named Gabriella and Joryn two of my very best friends today. We hit it off quickly and they even helped me talk to guys...it was hard ;^; then I discovered I worked better with guys, so did my friend Joryn she and I hung out with a group of guys all the time and only sometimes hung out with gabby

In the fifth grade I got wayyyy too lucky...messing with guys emotionally was all I did then..because I was deprived of the attention I needed as a child. I became closer with Joryn and grew apart from Gabriella... I dated guys because it was what everyone else was doing but fifth grade was hard to focus on. I often had outbursts of violence and anger. Then..I met Devin...I knew I wanted him...I needed him...he was so happy and I instantly fell for his smile and calming personality. I eventually got a hold of his heart..i had to hurt my friends to do it though...me, Joryn and Gabriella all had a crush on him but I had developed the most important trait...manipulation. I crushed his heart so easily and Gabriella stopped talking to me for a while. Joryn was by my side the whole time though.what a good friend...that’s when the bulling got worse...it was so easy to ignore Baxter then but now...it hurt

Back then not baxter*) In the sixth grade I met this wonderful person he meant so much to me...he hated his name...Kaliey...I hated it just as much as him. I was in choir and science with him. Everyone kept on picking on him and I kept on hurting whoever hurt him, it was such a habit ending up in iss that the lady in there grew familiar with my face, I got into tons of fights with anyone who hurt him...I loved him? I did. I’m sure of it. I loved going to those specific classes instead of any other...I was failing in those other classes because I stopped caring for them. It was the highlight of my day to see him. Then...the guys I used to hang out with...they...flirted with me? It was like a little contest to them and it made me uncomfortable...but I kept my focus on kailey, he was all I cared for, mid school year we thought of a name he liked, he either went by Kyle or Kai....I came home really ****ed up one day and my mother made plans to move the next month. I should shed some light on my family..

My brother was failing in his classes due to him skipping all the time. My sister was extremely popular in my school but hated being around me or having anyone know I was her sister ( she was on the eighth grade at this time). My little brother was still the favorite...my mother now working a full time job and Being a single mother...I don’t remember when but I think it was when we started going to church that Adam left my mother, it had no effect on me. I only had a month with Kai...so...I asked him out..imagine my surprise when he said yes! I was happier than usual those days but...he kept on getting bullied and I kept on getting into fights so it was getting harder and harder to see him everyday. He was suicidal then. I’d often see cuts on his wrists and sometimes yelled at him for it..I didn’t want to see him hurt I loved him.i respected that he was in fact transform the very beginning...that’s what he told me he liked about me..that I was accepting...then I had to move...I didn't tell him...

Im sorry......I went to a new school and kept my distance..my grades went back to my normal 100s and stuff but I missed him..I hadn’t had a phone at the time so we couldn’t keep in touch. Me and Joryn continued to have sleep overs. When I finally made a friend nothing went better..she wouldn’t leave me alone..her name was Selene...she had cuts on her wrists but laughed and joked about it all the time...she killed herself April the 14th 2019. I moved to a new school after that ( my current school ) and things got much better...me and Joryn hung out wayyy more it felt good to go back to midlo every once and a while. Then one day I got a phone..finally...Joryn gave me all the numbers to my friends and I wondered why she didn’t have kai’s....I asked her to get it for me and she said she would...on November 22nd 2019 I received the new my only lover. Had ended their own life. I was broken. Utterly shattered. I stopped going to school for a while. And when I came back? I started becoming more suicidal.

Then they told me to take a break from school..it lasted a month. When I came back my friends were concerned and constantly kept on checking my wrists...are they stupid? Are they really that stupid? As if I’d let anyone see my cuts...they were on my legs. All over.Did they think it would be THAT obvious? No. They never saw them because I can’t participate in gym without passing out or throwing up...did I tell you that I legitimately have a pass out of class due to my depression? It felt bad to be left out...I came back to Flipanim...it was something my friend Gabriella showed me...I came back with a new account and people noticed me! It felt amazing to be loved. I was happy. My friends noticed as well...then...I got into a toxic relationship...she was toxic just as much as I was. It did put work out and I ended up empty and wanting to die again...I was sent to a mental hospital as a consequence.

I dont recommend going to one if you like to keep to yourself and fake everything...plus they take your blood ;0; Then I got better not that the hospital helped at all ;-; I guess it’s just a matter of time before I lose someone else.... Welp....I doubt anyone is reading this now..I’m sure you’ve all passed out... That’s my depressing life for ya. Anyway...if you’ve got any questions in awake :’)