Cries

Let me enjoy my art ****er

😟

I have two friends that are like that and your one of them Also I have a question what if I just changes my whole personality so everyone hates me

Changed*

I feel the same literally nothing has changed abt me Maybe that's why I wanna change my personality so bad

That's nice of you

Idk the last time you said something that nice to me

Uhm

What

Wait the sentence is confusing me

Oh Then the world just told me I didnt deserve whatever you were gonna tell me

I can see what you mean with not good at typing things Hey at least you tried <3 Wasnt meant to be for me then

A lot of things ruin is like me

Us*

I cant hold in my thoughts I'm to open about things which always seem to ruin my friendships

What

Your right

No-

What

You can leave Whenever I have a chance to tell you things it always somehow messes up

I think what bothers me is the way you dont warn me of leaving a d most if the time its "ok bye" as I'm in the middle of letting out my mentally broken emotions, I think it also bothers me because ik I've helped you ma by times and as soon as it my time to rant it's always a no respond, an "oof" "oop" "ok" comments, or "bye" I wish I never made this obvious and kept it to myself

I misspelled so much,

This is why I've been giving up and just not telling you anything anymore as I understand your not helpful when it comes to that kind of stuff You shouldn't feel useless it's just a standard that you cant do and that my brain cant seem to comprehend Your standards are more for making someone laugh or distract them Ik we had that talk and ik it worries you but at the end of the day I'm the one who should mostly consider trying to control my emotions better than I am now

It probably seems nice when I do tell you things but I'm a person who usually needs constant attention and support. And it's my bad for not really showing that but I cant help my body limits what to show or not. As a person who needs those things my mind seems to not find the point of telling someone my problems or emotions when lack of support or care isnt there

If I'm honest I dont want you to try for me because ik that something will still be lacking from me or either you so nothing will change. And my decision is I decided not to tekk you things because I'll always end up hurt by something. I also have many regrets on what I've done to you on a few things and seeing that this may cause you to be sad or stress is driving me nuts You can obviously tell that the lack of support seems to trigger my aggressive side I usually dont show and I wouldn't want myself to treat you like shit just because I cant handle myself

I've also notice that I've been getting sad whenever I'm talking to you in which idk why I always want to talk to you but my I cant seem to get through that people dont always say nice things even if it was a joke or not and I should never expect anything back

K,

The thing is I'm a lonely person And only one other talks to me which is late at night,

I'm not good with new people did you forget I have trust issues, it's not that easy Because I stay up all night to get the emotional support I need

Also my anxiety has gotten a lot worse I feel numb

Where am I gonna get help. Therapy sucks. and I haven't even told my mom 90% of the things I've told you and sylveonsr. Not even abt the self harm. I feel this isn't gonna change anything and its going to be a loop just like my whole life, here I go crying for no smart reason

I just cant. I feel like I can handle it myself and I cant even cry in front of people without getting anxious. I dont have time for therapy even if I wanted to. Again. Trust issues. No it's not I shouldn't be crying for nothing its ****ing stupid

No ima keep it to myself What,

Anyways gtg I have to get up in 4 hours