I'm just trying to do my best for everyone. I just want everyone to be happy and happy with the work I put in to everything. But I can't see how good they are for you guys. I've just gotten tired of trying to make something cool. I dream a lot every time about doing such a cool animation! But then I try and I just... I can't

I was told to never stop drawing on paper. And I did..... I used to draw realistically on paper and now I just can't I have lost my talent almost completely.

And part of that is bullies. I want to make something to show them I can do better than they think..... but ... I can't.... then I forget to add references and my links because I'm just so spaced out. I don't know what to do then and I just go through all the people that bully me. It suddenly clicks to me that it shouldn't be happening. That the bullies are standing in my way. and that their gonna do stuff to you that makes you quit so they can be better and feel good about themselves.

People try to joke around.... but when they do they hurt people... jokes about killing yourself or suicide or depression is not a joke it's not funny it hurts people more than they are... but I just still let it happen to me.. I go with it so I can change for the bullies so I fit in so they won't bully me.... Then I go back to my past... how I used to draw... how I felt confident... how more people talked to me.. and then I felt sad and lonely... because I changed the one thing I was told to keep. To always keep drawing..

All of it frustrates me more than you could imagine. I wake up not wanting to draw or do good anymore. I wake up feeling sick. I wake up stumbling across things because I just feel so ill. I'm not even helping myself when I should be I'm helping everyone else around me and people across the world on the internet rather than me. I protect so many other people than me. I've had a rough childhood. I'm willing to tell it all to you right now. All the true things. EVERYTHING

I was born. 0 years old. I had a Mom that I don't even remember her face when I turned one. She had an affair with someone else. My dad went into the military. I never got to see him. When he was gone for years my Mother abused me and my siblings. My mom's new boyfriend abused us too. My mom's name was Angela. When my dad got back home from the military he found us in pain. He rescued us and called the police. My mom went to jail and so did her boyfriend. My mom killed herself in jail. I grew up just knowing my dad. And when My dad told me this story I was shocked. He found someone named Ashley. Who them became my FIRST stepmother. When my dad had to go to work she would make us clean the walls choke us against the walls. slap us. punch us. pretty much anything abusive. When my dad came home she was nice to us. That's when I lived in Texas. My twin brother. my 3rd twin brother. Xander. Then we moved into a small apartment with stairs. I was abused there too. Xander was the best friend I ever had. Me and

him would play together everyday. That's when Ashley and Xander decided to move out. Then my dad broke up with her. We found my SECOND step mom. Anne. She made us clean everyday and choked me against a wall and threw me. and punched my sister in front of me. Then my dad got in a fight with her and that's when me and my other brother opened up and told everything that was going on. We moved into another apartment and we moved out into a house a year later after living in it. Because my dad yet again found another stepmom. my THIRD one. her name was Mandi. now she would force us to literally live in our rooms without doing a single thing. whenever we came home we had to clean and then go to our rooms. Then she got so mad at me when I forgot to clean one single spot. She then kicked us out. That's not all. She came back inside when we were packing our stuff up that night. She came in with a gun. put it straight to my head and slammed me into the wall and I bled. We moved out homeless... We had my dad's dad

to help us out. we stayed there for the night. and then my dad got a place once we got enough money while we stayed at my grandmas house. I grew in a depressing state a while ago. But this one grew stronger. We lived in another apartment. This is when I met Mia. The happiest days of my life. The best even. My dad found another Stepmom. Amy. Who soon he married. I was so happy I told Mia. she had a daughter and another daughter. one who's now 16 Sammi. and another one Lola. who's 10. We all lived in this tiny apartment and moved out to a house. We had a dog a yorkie in fact. named Lucy. and they adopted a cat named.. Franklin who we adopted from a kill shelter.

But I still live with depression because the bullies online. That's my story. Goodnight.

Thanks