It's kinda like derelization it's a feeling you get like being cut off from the world the fact that this makes me happy really breaks by heart I can't keep putting on a show for everyone everyone just thinks I'm always nïeve just the dorky goofy girl who like women I'm more complex but people just wanna see what's on the outside no one wants to ask about how I'm feeling they just wanna think oh she is just weird or oh she just talk to much it hurt to know that people think your so dumb you can't tell they don't want you there if you don't wanna hang out with me tell it to my face but everyone has to be weak and just keep it hidden from me and then they think I can't tell like I'm stupid or something why can't people just talk to one another verbally like it was before