let me get this straight now: THIS IS NOT AN ATTACK, NOT A CALLOUT POST, NOT A "CANCELLED" POST, AND IS NOT A CALL FOR YOU TO GO AFTER SMILINGNYAN OR ANYONE ELSE I MIGHT MENTION OR ALLUDE TO HERE. i assure you i will not take the blame for you attacking anyone mentioned here and i do not support your actions. you are apart of the problem. shut up. this is a post where i get out the thing that's been stressing me out all weekend and the post where i can hopefully show some people what they're doing wrong.

i am not aware of the full situation. i don't know what happened before smilingnyan made the post or anything that happened between the people she mentioned. so i will try my best to avoid talking about those and just talk about what this looks like to me. but it is kind of impossible that i say what's on my mind while not assuming at least something so excuse me for that, i am trying to gather what i can without bugging the people involved because i'm already not minding my business enough making this

i just ask that you listen to what i have to say. i'm not going to tell you why your opinion is bad (though i do heavily disagree with it and see many hypocritical points and loose ends in your argument in what i've seen from it so far), and i'm going to try my best to keep the anger i have towards you out of this and stay as respectful as possible. my intent is not to hurt you, or anyone who agrees with you, or even anyone who disagrees with you. i am just dropping my two cents here and hopefully not causing more drama (or if it does turn in to something, it becomes more of a.. passive aggressive discourse at worst, but knowing fa probably not).

sn, i don't think you're a transphobe. i don't agree with the people who are harassing you and telling you you're a transphobe. but you need to understand that the opinion itself is pretty transphobic and harmful, and the thin line there is very easy to confuse if you don't look into it and that's why i think people are calling you transphobic. i believe you do, infact, want the best for the trans community, but your vision of what the "best" is doesn't line up with that it might be and probably is. holding people from the trans community (especially as a cis woman.. which i will get onto in a minute) due to your vision of what is and isn't trans enough is not helpful and actively hurts the people involved and, as a trans person myself, i don't feel like doing that will help any of the problems we already have in the community and i also don't feel like you even should be able to do that.

i know some people are going to say "oh, you're just silencing an opinion you don't agree with because she's cis", and while i'm sorry you see it that way i can assure you that's not what i'm trying to do. i'm not trying to say she can't have that opinion, i'm saying she can't police people using that opinion. if this was just a post saying "i don't like xenogenders"? i would've been a little upset and try to avoid her, but otherwise this post wouldn't exist. instead she actively insults the identities of others, calling them mentally ill and insane, and putting herself above everyone else while sharing her opinion and giving off this very, "i'm better than you, you're wrong and evil for disagreeing with me, you snowflake" vibe.

and because of that it's no surprise that people hate you, sn, because you're going after them and proudly flaunting the fact you hate them and will disrespect their pronouns. people vague about you because you don't make yourself seem like a reasonable, approachable person, you make yourself look intimidating and frankly pretty narcissistic and unwilling to listen. which is why i have very little hope that you will actually read, much less listen to this post even if i'm trying to defend you in some ways.

you are a person in the majority telling what is pretty much a minority inside of a minority that they can't be respected and that their way of thinking is wrong, or bad, or mentally ill, and telling people to hunt them and encouraging people to also hate them (which i will talk about in a second) which.. yes, sounds pretty transphobic to me. again i don't think this makes YOU a transphobe, but it does make you look pretty,, bad

you, as both an adult and a popular user, need to be more aware of your platform. i know you're no Fully Grown Woman and i shouldn't expect you to automatically know everything all the time just because you hit 18, BUT i do expect you to at least be able to recognize when something you're doing is harmful. telling a bunch of kids who likely look up to you because 1. you're a big user and 2. they heard you were an adult and automatically trusted you, since kids are usually conditioned to always listen to adults and usually do so, consciously or not, that they should hunt people and disrespect their pronouns and bully them like you have is absolutely unacceptable.

if someone like me (a smaller account, and a minor) made a post like that i'd be killed on sight, yet because of your status you get away with it and the fact you used your power for that and don't seem to recognize that you use your power like that, isn't okay. i assure you i can recognize when people do it because i've been the victim on the other end of it, and i'm pretty sure you KNOW i've been the victim on the other end of it. more than once actually. and i'm telling you as a now outsider looking in that you are that big user abusing their power to get their followers after something or someone they don't like. namedropping didn't help this at all and i wouldn't be surprised if someone actively attacked someone you mentioned, which i of course can't support. the fact you act like this is some kind of feat or something to be proud of isn't exactly the best thing either

people look up to you and are learning from your example. people see an adult, cis woman who is a big user going after a minority and calling them insane, publicly, and they begin to rationalize that. maybe because they're about to go do the same thing, maybe to keep the "good" status they have of you in tact, but either way they're saying what you're doing is okay because they look up to you. you are starting (but more likely continuing based on what i've heard) a horrible cycle that hurts everyone, including you. i get that you're only 18 but that doesn't change the fact that you are, legally, an adult, people see you as an adult, you should act like one. and if a child has to point out that you are doing something really bad and awful there is an issue.

i'm not going to sit here and deny that there are mentally ill people in the xenogender community. but when you look for mental illness in a group built off of and most likely mostly composed of trans neurodivergent people, you're gonna find it. but that in no way means that being xenogender or using neopronouns is, in itself, due to mental illness. claiming it is is kind of already bad enough but not only do you do that but you treat it like it's this horrible thing and not something that needs to be helped. you're bullying primarily (and probably entirely, due to it being fa) children and calling them mentally ill and insane yet there's not a mention of suggesting they get help or any ways for them to get better or improve. pairing this next to "it's stupid"? not a good look. you just look like, and from the looks of it most likely are, going after children and calling something you claim to be caused by mental illness, stupid.

i get you're angry and you're stressed because some people are going after you for your opinion. and i in no way support the way they've treated you or made you feel, and i don't want for you to be stressed or upset just because you share an opinion i don't agree with. but, i can't (and nobody else should be able to) defend how you weaponize those feelings and that anger against the people making you feel that way. there is zero reason to bully them back, again, especially as an adult. if minors shouldn't be able to do it to minors, why would an adult be able to? i understand you're not going to be fully grown and mature at 18 but using that as an excuse for this sort of thing isn't okay. if anything i think it's a bit worse that you went after them like this actually thanks to your age, your popularity and the fact you're cisgender.

i've probably repeated myself this entire post and made zero sense but i hope this at least makes enough sense to get my point across. opinion aside you did a really shitty thing and it's no wonder to me why people don't like you, especially because you paired it with a transphobic opinion that actively goes against a growing community of people who just want to find an identity they're happy with. please learn when to censor yourself. children on here don't do it enough as is (hell, i'm still working on that myself) and having an adult around reinforcing that is just going to make this entire site worse. have your opinion and share it too but learn how to do that and still respect the people you're talking about. you can disagree with people who identify with xenogenders and think their identities are dumb but there's no reason why that validates misgendering them.

i'm sorry if this offended anyone or made you upset, again that was not my intention but i wasn't just going to lay down and let this happen. from the looks of it nobody was really speaking up about this in both a respectful, and public, way, and i hope that to some degree i achieved that. but to be honest i wouldn't be surprised if i was actually accidentally a massive asshole throughout this whole post and offended everyone ever whoops

if someone has said smth publicly and respectfully i just haven't seen it sorry lmao please feel free to correct me, add on, or give any context i missed out on but PLEASE be respectful and don't just. lie. i am aware that sn is very stressed about this and i don't want to add onto that, i just want to show her she's done something shitty.