"GOLEM STEALS THE 15TH AMENDMENT FROM ROB SCHEINDER!!!" "THE CANDIDATES GOING TO THE THIRD GRADE!!!" "SUCKERS STOLE MY TURTLE!!!"

We have some breaking news coming to you live on the scene on the whereabouts of the 15th amendment it appears that GOLEM JITA MORI ROAT the 1st has stolen it from the private property of famous movie star ROB SCHEINDER! The FBI is now on the scene with our news crew fallowing close behind them and now we go to our man on the scene...