just just ****ing leave me alone i cant ****ing deal with this anymore its ****ing up my already shitty life i just im ****ing remembering all the shit ive done thats just ****ing weird and how its triggering my ****ing anxiety and just ... ive gotten to the point where im scared to use the ****ing bathroom in my own ****ing home i cant even talk to my ****ing parents i cant even talk ****ing correctly all that seems to come out of my mouth are just ****ing cat noises because that's the only way im ****ing comfortable with speaking ... im ****ing weird i regret saying this already ... im just ****ing scared to do anything because i know someones going to ****ing judge me for it maybe not through actual words but they ****ing will internally ... i just im just going to go.