Okey let me type
by:
River-Risk 
239
239
02.04.2021
274 comments
River-Risk[OP]
02.04.2021 04:43
LinkS: Bartender can I have a glass of milk
B: Shade we don't sell milk
S: well I could drink your milk instead~
B: Shade I'm cutting you off for the rest of the night
S: Why?
B: You dared to flirt with me that's why
S: ...
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River-Risk[OP]
02.04.2021 04:45
LinkS: so is that a yes or a no?~
B: just get out of my sight and let me work
S: Fine
River-Risk[OP]
02.04.2021 04:46
LinkAnd that is Shade
Shade: because I'm still thirsty~
Me: Shade go away and be horny some where else
Oswald: YOU SEEM PERFECTLY HYDRATED
Jack: I swear to god shade, if you lay one hand on my kid I will **** you up.
Shade: Would you rather I screwed you then?~
Me: Shade stop please *hugs Oswald* I will protect you
*Jack just took out a 20 ft long sword--*
Jack: N O . I've already got enough shit to deal with! Oswald's a good example.
Oswald: *HAPPI BUNNY BOYE NOISES*
Shade: oh we will see about that *poof*
Me: I hope he doesn't come back this time *hugs Oswald terrified*
Oswald: It's okay! Jack is good at protecting kids/teens. he wouldn't let anyone touch us like that with him around.
Jack: you're damn right.
Me: The most he will do with kids/Teens is strictly flirting jokingly at most I'm worried about Jack not us *Shivers*
Jack: what's the worse he could do? psh, just because he's bigger doesn't mean I have a disadvantage! I have a huge sword for ****s sake, my god.
Oswald: a l o t .
Me: Jack let's just say for him being 21 he is good at doing all sorts of things just ask Joyful and Sorrow
Jack: I don't chat with them often-- and you're talking to a person who's had to fight for their lives throughout ages 6-20? ham can back me up on that claim. I know a L O T about self defense.
Me: Yea and Sorrow is definitely loud compared to Shade that's all I can say
Jack: h-HAHAH-- holy **** I never thought the dude would ever be able to do that PFFFFFFTTTTT-
Shade: *poof and he grabbed Jack's waist* hey there still wonder what your still doing here~
Me: o h n o
Shade: Mmmm how about no~ *he didn't move what so ever*
Me: *hugs Oswald in terror*
Jack: *Annoyed tone-* Shut up and let me go. there are kids watching and I don't want to. If you do anything to me at the slightest then I'll do things to myself. and no, it's not sexual.
*Oswald hugs River back and pats them-*
Shade: *le Tail wag* and if the kids are smart they will leave~
Me: Oswald we need to leave now like on a walk for at least an hour just trust me
Oswald: b-but--
Jack: D-DONT LEAVE ME HERE WITH HIM!
*Oswald stays in place--*
Shade: aww what do I intimidate you or something Jack?~
Me: I will drag you if I have to Oswald
Shade: Not yet~
Me: your dad will be fine I swear! Will you go if I cuddle you?
*Jack just grumbles--*
Oswald: HAVE FUN DAD!
Jack: I hate this so much--
*Oswald wait to follow River casually*
Shade: so which one are you?~
Me: *Grabs Oswald and just bolts out of there*
Nah I'm good, now I will ask again which one are you top or bottom?~
*Jack just tried pushing shade away because v e r y upset and does n o t want any of this--*
Jack: I do not owe anyone anything other than an apology to the kiddos.
I mean Oswald is getting cuddles now and is happy about that and he did say have fun~
Jack: doesn't mean I will. Now stop flirting with me and- and go read a book or something.
Jack: I have to be a good example even if the kiddo is nowhere near me,,,
Oh of course you do *he growled a bit cause he is getting impatient*
Really =^^= I mean I could literally have started screwing you a while ago
I may seem really harsh in some ways but trust me I'm restraining myself
Jack: I s e e t h a t . Look, I really don't want to do A N Y T H I N G like that. at all.
Jack: How many times have I said no? like what- 36? Yeah let's make that 37. No.
Jack: I'd just- rather not-- also shouldn't the kiddos be coming back soon-???
Jake: ANSWERS ARE UNAVAILABLE RIGHT NOW
*Ham just magically appears*
Ham: WEIRD ***** GO TAKE CARE OF YOUR CHILDR- I- oh.
Jack: I DONT KNOW JUST LET ME TAKE CARE OF MY CHILDREN!
Ham: NO JACK STAY THERE I WANNA SEE THIS
Ham: I like pestering him because it's funny. OH! wanna see me shove 5 bottles of vodka down his throat?
Jack: Don't do that again you KNOWWHATHAPPENEDLASTTIME
Jack: If you hold me down I will ruin your mental stability
Ham: I ALREADY HAVE THE VODKA LET'S DO IT
Jack: OKAY WHAT THE FU-
*Ham casually shoves 5 bottles of vodka down his throat at once--*
Ham: HEHEHEH OSWALD'S GOING TO KILL ME
Jack: FF****ING- I'M GOING TO KILL GOD AND SEND EVERY ****ING PERSON TO HELL
Jack: Don' look like it.
Ham: I'VE ALREADY BEEN TO HELL FOR YOUR INFORMATION
Jack: HAM DID YOU MULTIPLY YOURSELF AGAIN YOU SICK *****
Ham: waithowdidyouknowaboutthat
Jack: WAIT I'M CONFUSED
*Oswald is casually trying to drag river back to Jack and shade--*
Oswald: I SENSE DAD DANGER THOUGH
Jack: HAM GI,,, GO CHECK ON MY BUNNY DUDE OR UM,,, I'M GOING TO REMOVE YOUR MUSHROOMS
Ham: weak. can't even get out of Shade's grip.
Ham: Very large but very cool too.
Oswald: B-BUT HAM DOESN'T DO THAT MUCH TO HIM--
Oswald: NO I CAN'T LET SHADE DO THAT TO HIM THAT'S BAD, HE DOESN'T HANDLE THAT STUFF WELL
Oswald: I'LL TELL YOU LATER,,, AND SHADE UNHAND MY DAD
Jack: Hey Ozzy
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Oswald: YOU HEARD ME, LET HIM GO >:(
Ham: Kiddo you're literally so stupid-
Oswald: HE CAN'T HANDLE THAT STUFF WELL, PLEASE
Jack: OZZY IT'S OKAY AS LONG AS IT DOESN'T GO TOO FAR
Ham: Oop
Oswald: WHY- WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT WTF! THIS MAKES ALL OF THIS WORSE OMG--
Jack: Shade or whatever the **** your name is let me go hug my child--
And besides Oswald if I really wasn't restraining my self Ham would have seen things he never wants to see
*Jack casually stumbles to Oswald and hugs him*
Jack: Shploop.
Oswald: go get sleep dad-
Ham: Oh, I'm a she.
Ham: dude, is that even a question? we're already friends >:}
Jack: no,,, let me stay up longer! :C
Oswald: I'm not taking my chances with you, go get sleep.
Good *hugs Jack* I can take care of this guy for a while I will stay out here though watching him
Oswald: NO DONT TOUCH MY FATHER
*Oswald snatches him back--*
Jack: hhhhhi again.
*Oswald just starts c r y i n g - *
Jack: Oh no it's the waterfall goddess all over again
Ham: the ****-
Oswald: YOU'RE -*s n i f f l e -* SCARY,,,
Jack: stop crying you're dooming us all.
*he completely stopped and loomed over Oswald once more* but seriously I just want to cuddle with your dad
*he snatches Jack and just lays on the couch silently cuddling him*
*Angy Oswald*
Ham: YO, EDGY BUNNY BOYE, YOU'RE BUILT LIKE A STICK!
Oswald: YEAH AND? I CAN STILL BEAT YOUR ASS!
Ham: BET
*Ham and Oswald casually start fighting while Jack's just t i r e d - *
Jack: I wanna fall off a vvvvvvvveeeeeeerrrrrrryyyyyyyy high building.
*Ham and Oswald shortly stop fighting and Oswalds mouth and nose is just b l e e d i n g - *
*Jack just huffed--*
Jack: Yeah but it sounds cool.
*TOTALLY NOT OSWALD DEATH STARING SHADE--*
*Shade Noticed him death staring him and just licked his Jack's chest almost challenging Oswald*
*Jack just bit his lip--*
Oswald: DAD WHY TF ARE YOU GIVING INTO THIS WH-
Ham: dude, chill.
Jack: s-stop
*Oswald looked at Ham and pointed at Shade and Jack--*
Ham: Just let shade do his thing.
Oswald: BUT. THAT'S. MY. DAD.
Eh I'm good I don't feel like stopping though *he just kept licking Jack's Chest*
*Oswald comes back with the ****ing s h o t g u n while jack is just moaning--*
Oswald: LET GO OF MY DAD YOU- UM- INCUBUS-!!!
*he pinned his ears know it wasn't loaded and just kept licking Jack*
*Oswald casually puts amo in it and cocks the gun-*
Oswald: Alright mf-
*he actually started shaking a little bit out of fear and just laid on top of Jack*
Jack: Ozzy chill it's just licking.
Oswald: YOU WERE LITERALLY MOANING
Oswald: heliterallysaidstop
Ham: EY don't blow my friend's brains out.
H a m c o u l d y o u t a k e t h e g u n a w a y f r o m O s w a l d?
Ham: yeah sure lol
*Ham snatches the shotgun away--*
Oswald: Heyyy,,, :C
Oswald: h e ' s v e r y d e t e r m i n d t o f u c k m y d a d , i s n ' t h e .
*Oswald hugs River--*
Oswald: nuuu don't :(
*Ham casually appears*
Ham: SUP NERDS
Ham: everything, OBVIOUSLY. also I ate the gun.
Oswald: that was dad's gun- D:
Ham: Technically I am because I have horns on my head. pfffft.
*Ham pokes the horns on her head--*
Ham: why the hell would I do that? I was only there to torture jack again, lmfao.
Oswald: Atleast you're somewhat of a good demon,,,
Ham: Say that again and I'll gut you like a fish
Me: If Shade was a demon he would not be great to cross paths with
Oswald: My father is a fallen angel. ,3,
Ham: Yeah, I know that idiot.
Nope you can stay here with ham I have a feeling one of the boys is gonna start making some very lewd sounds
Oswald: NO WAIT AHHHHH-
*Insert Ham forcefully hugging Oswald*
Ham: It's okay, me and you can go shopping or some shit.
Oswald: F U C K
Ham: haha jack bottom B)
Oswald: shut up dont talk about my dad like that,
Jack is really just unsure about everything and messes up, especially when he's drunk, so don't go expecting him to be neat>:D ))
*Shade keeps licking Jack's chest* now you can even be as loud as you want now
*Shade just took off that last layer on Jack wagging his tail even*
Yea I know and I told you that you'd enjoy it and I was right wasn't I?
Jack: `` I'm just kinda sorta too tired right now to do anything so,,,yeah- ``
Well I could still handle you sober I'm sure it's easy besides there is one last vodka bottle left to
