My parents told me over and over again to ” get over it ” and even threatning to me to a hospital and many more. They even said i should get shock therapy just because of it. When i confront about it, they still yell at me. I can’t help with how i feel. I even thought of suicide and even cutting myself, but i never have the balls to do so. I have been crying alot, since i feel like i am at fault and that no one will ever help me. In real life, i can’t even look at people, since i am ashamed of myself and how uncomfortable i am, and all i can see are strangers, even if i know them already.

I also hate my own work i do. You see, i also have a deviantart, instagram and a tumblr account that i do art and such, and i do more stuff there than here. Why? Well, i find this more confusing and more harder than let’s say an drawing app i have on my Ipad. I don’t go here so often and do small animations...wait, ” animations ”. There we go. But still, i don’t so art and such here, since how bad i think i am at it here. Also, i don’t feel safe venting on other places. They just tell me to ” get over it ” and such. I don’t like venting, since i know how people will react if i do so. Sometimes, i do want to do something horrible, like make a big joke or something like that about my suicide and such, but i never want to or never do i. Because i feel like this is just distasteful and rude towards them who have actual depression. No, i don’t see myself as depressed just because i am little sad, no, this is way more serious.

Sorry if i got emotional there. It is my own fault that i do this to myself, and i just feel like no one will ever truly love me or ever truly care about me, even if they say they do. I just think they are just lying just to pity me. I don’t want to be pitied, i want people to help me. Again...sorry about that. I am such a mess. It is my own fault that i do this.