oh god, its Jeff. The school bully. he grins, walking to me, i gulp. He picks me up by my shirt collar. "any last words?" "can i text my minecraft girlfriend?" i ask, politely. "yeah, as long as you read it out loud." i did so. "sorry babe, cant be on tonight, gonna be in hospital" Jeffs phone proceeds to ring. we both freeze, he checks and reads it out loud. "sorry babe, cant be on tonight, gonna be in hospital" we just glance at each other and awkwardly look away. "guess we're gay," i say. then suddenly, jeff started making out with me. it was wierd but satisfying congratulations you have reached the end of your most normal mental state of health