i didnt say much directly to you because i didnt want you to be upset and leave

so i tried to make posts about how i felt on fa without many specifics for the most part in hopes maybe something would change

but nothing did

i stayed up late on school nights and skipped out on events and i neglected hanging out with my irl friends a lot

because i wanted to talk to you

i remember the beginning it felt so amazing to be cared about and loved by someone

but things changed

you werent talking to me a lot so i worried

you called me paranoid

you said you would be here for me you said you loved me you said i saved you you said there is no one else you s

you said we would break the stereotypes

you said we can prove them wrong

talking with you made me the happiest i ever had been before i wanted to talk to you all the time

i was always so scared to lose you

my friend jumped off of a building in a suicide attempt and i didnt see them for months and months

and they were the only person that made me happy at that time

but theyre okay

then suddenly my parents were looking for a new house

and the only thing that got me out of bed in the morning was seeing them at school

and i wouldn't see them at school anymore

because i lived just near the town line of where i used to live and now i had no choice but to go to another school

i dont like it here

because i still have the pictures in my room hanging beside my bed of the characters we were

and i still lay with the stuffed animal

every night when i sleep

i wake up clinging onto it

and i cry sometimes

i cry because i was too much for you to handle and i knew it from the beginning

i cry because i actually thought for a moment that i wouldnt be alone anymore

but now you told me you didnt need me anymore

i wasnt good enough for you

i am worth nothing to you anymore

im glad you feel better not talking to me anymore

i really want you to be happy

but why did you have to tell me like that

suddenly everything we have gone through means nothing i mean nothing to you all those nights we talked about our shared interests meant nothing

i hate myself for feeling this way i want to rip these thoughts out of my head

i care too much

and you wont see this but i dont care